


Cupcakes and Curses

by jazzykatz



Series: Those Crazy South Park Days [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Curses, F/M, Gen, Jewish family, Supernatural Elements, Temporary Character Death, Underage Drinking, Violence, one-sided Butters Stotch/OFC, one-sided Eric Cartman/OFC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-21 22:25:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14924015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzykatz/pseuds/jazzykatz
Summary: When a father decides to move his twin girls back to their mother's hometown over the summer, a certain fatass unwittingly unleashes havoc on South Park because he loves to stick his nose where it doesn't belong.





	1. (Un)wanted Attention

**Author's Note:**

> There's OCs in this. If you don't like OCs then just move on.

The mother was a follower of the Cult of Satan, being cursed after leaving. The curse was rudimentary in itself, giving out mocking praise to the Christian bible. Her touch was cursed, and anyone who came into contact with her hands was stricken with one of the seven deadly sins, which would torment her and those she afflicted. The curse was put on her and affected her blood heirs. There was no known cure for the curse, as it’s said to die only when the life of the bloodline ends.

 

Wrath is what inevitably did her in, ending her life shortly after giving birth to her children. No one expected a nurse to murder her in her sleep, having accidentally removed the woman’s gloves that were kept on ‘for religious reasons’. Her husband did his best to care for his children, teaching them early about their affliction. He never really believed his wife up until her death, believing that it was a silly superstition. The nurse was charged with murder, and somewhere along the line, she went mad from her rage and died.

 

With twins to take care of, to supervise, the father was overwhelmed. He worked from home, as he didn’t trust anyone else to come in contact with two cursed toddlers. Who knew what would happen if their gloves were taken off. Simple white gloves, nothing fancy. They learned quickly not to take them off themselves, once they understood the consequences. Bad things happened, or would happen, with their hands bare.

 

He eventually moved them back to where their mother lived, while between his work he was doing research on the cult she was in. Moving back to the small mountain town was more of a worry than anything, as the stories about this town from his wife sounded completely surreal, as if it was its own dimension where off-the-wall things would happen, and outside the borders, it was seemingly normal. He sometimes wondered if it was some sort of radiation problem, and later concluded that it was everything. The cult was the number one worry on his list, however. He was determined to look for a way to break the curse. For his sake, for his children’s sake.

 

The one thing that bothered him was that he’d inevitably had to let his daughters into that town, in the mere hopes of them having a normal life despite their restrictions. It worked so far in Phoenix, so he hoped it would continue to work here in South Park.

* * *

  


Elizabeth hated the cold. It was supposed to be late summer, but the temperature failed to live up to its usual standards. This was a new state, a new climate, and her one-hundred and five degree weather was now somewhere below forty degrees. Was this really how people lived?

 

Moving this far away from warmth was quite horrible, especially when you never owned a heavy coat in your life and just now had to make room in your closet for the heaviest of clothing. Wool socks, wool undershirts, a down parka that was thankfully a nice shade of green, and heavy snow boots. This was quite far from the norm of lace and linens and shorts and sandals.

 

Alice didn’t seem to mind at all, but nothing really bothered her as much as it should. She hid away her cares behind a big grin and bright eyes, because life was about living and caring about small things were unnecessary. She went so far as to wait outside the front lawn for her sister, making snowballs with her extra gloved hands (the white ones did shit poor with the cold), waiting for her bespectacled sister to come out so she could ring in the new school year and pummel snow into her face. Her own coat was more of a streamlined blue, not the gross moss green her sister loved.

 

Elizabeth was prepared for the sudden assault, peeking out of the house bit by bit and ducking back in, just in time to throw the door open and scream, pumping her super soaker at Alice and aiming for her clothes. She’d be damned if she was going to go down without a fight.

 

Alice screamed when the water hit her. Back in Arizona it would have been more of a fun and playful attack, but here in Colorado this was almost like shooting someone with a taser in the rain. The chill was quick to set and Alice jogged back a distance, her arms dripping wet and starting to freeze. “Fucking Christ, I need to change now!” She shouted.

 

“That’s what you get for planning to attack me!” Elizabeth shouted in return.

 

“You could have hit me with a harpoon and gutted my left leg and STILL it’d be better than this!” Alice bit back, scowling as she stomped past her sister and back inside.

 

The sound of a window being shoved open alerted Elizabeth, her brow quirking to the neighbor next door. “Fucking shut up you Goddamn Jews!”

 

The delightful neighbor boy, Elizabeth thought sarcastically, turning her head slowly in his direction and flipping him off. The water gun was poised at her shoulder, waiting for another target. “This isn’t your argument, twat-brain.” She replied harshly.

 

It worked perfectly well, her ruse. The window shut quickly and she could practically feel him lumbering down to the first floor of his house and out the door. He looked quite angry, and it was only going to get better.

 

“Shut your fucking Jew whore mouth because if you keep tempting me I SWEAR TO GOD, I will put you in--FUCK!”

 

The water had gotten colder between filling the water gun up and now, and Elizabeth only smiled as she pumped every last drop of it into the dripping wet lardass.

 

“You failed to see my weapon upon yelling at me, so the blame is all on you.” She quipped, waving at him jovially before stepping back into the house. She could hear the screaming curses and the cries for his ‘mam’ when she shut the door.

* * *

  


Something in her mind told her that the stunt this morning would come back and bite her in the ass, as it was the first day of school and the horrible boy they met during the loosely titled summer was probably in their year.

 

He was, and Elizabeth cursed inwardly.

 

The proof of the fact was staring at her in the face with beady eyes and an angry scowl, as she and her sister, now in purple, stepped further into the high school.

 

Alice wasn’t making the situation any better, because she had seen the entire thing happen from their bedroom window.

 

“Enjoy your outdoor bath, asshole?” She inquired publically, calling all attention upon herself. Everyone seemed to know who she was talking to, because apparently this boy was popular on twitter and seemed to constantly complain about the two new ‘Jew Bitches’ living next to him.

 

Eric Cartman wasn’t wearing what he usually wore, as his main coat was sopping wet and back at home, instead wearing something that didn’t even look appealing, but then he never looked appealing. The thing that stood out with the army green peacoat was the nazi symbol emblazoned on the sleeve.

 

“That’s hideous.” Alice surmised, quirking up her lips and not at all offended by the thing. She looked over at Elizabeth, who did her best not to meet eye contact with the irate boy. Everyone was staring.

 

“The wet cat look suits you.” Alice went on, smirking just slightly and realizing that people were listening. “You people should have seen it, my sister, with the look of determination, aimed a water gun at this deplorable, fat fuck, and gave him a wonderful twenty five degree shower.”

 

Elizabeth cringed at Alice’s words, shying her eyes away from the encouragement. It seemed like Cartman was seething too much to speak, and knew it wouldn’t be long until the little shit exploded into a verbal assault.

 

They had to deal with this asshole for at least three months.

 

“I really never thought of attacking him with a water gun.” Another piped up, looking vaguely impressed and grinning at the recognizable twins. He nodded quietly after a moment’s reflection, his nasally voice seeming to approve. “I wish I was there to see it.”

 

The explosion was halted quickly, deterred by another explosion from another area, “What the FUCK are you wearing!” Asked a tall, pale kid with way too much ginger curls. He looked enraged and offended, and everything in between. “Take that fucking coat off before I punch you in the face.” He threatened, getting right up into his face and matching his ire.

 

“Well, KHAL, I wouldn’t have been wearing this if some stupid jew bitch didn’t ruin my main coat.” He emphasized every word, his attention back on the ginger.

 

“Guilty.” Alice moved to raise Elizabeth’s arm, laughing when her sister shoved her away.

 

“Stop making a scene!” She hissed out, finally realizing that the ginger and his two friends were watching them.

 

They looked utterly confused, and the sight of it was almost endearing, but too amusing. Alice quirked her brow, stepping forward and bowing mockingly. “Pleasure, gentleman. We’re the famous Jew Bitches, allow me to introduce myself and my sister.” She made a mocking grandiose gesture, yelping when Elizabeth suddenly grabbed her scarf and tugged her away.

 

“I said stop making a scene!” The girl hissed out again.

 

“This is what I fucking put up with!” Cartman shouted out, pointing to the two girls. “See? Don’t you see why I fucking hate them? My mom’s fucking trying to date their dad and it’s driving me fucking insane!”

 

Two of the friends choked in a snort of amusement, the ginger’s cheeks flushed slightly. They looked like they already knew the twins. “Sounds like they’re handing you fine.” The boy with a blue hat teased.

 

Alice grinned, enjoying the attention. “Well, it’s my fault.” She admitted truthfully, “I did aim fireworks at his bedroom window, but only because he insulted dad.”

 

Cartman’s eye twitched.

 

The ginger boy’s eyes went wide in shock, remembering clearly the video of the incident that was posted online. He was there to see everything, even if he wasn’t in South Park during the summer, he managed to see so much that he started to worry.

 

He knew Cartman well enough to be worried about the two girls.

* * *

  


The morning’s stunt seemed to spring to life a sudden popularity for the twin girls. Elizabeth didn’t enjoy it, but Alice seemed to be riding the waves, and her stories about her summer pranks seemed to gain favor with the popular girls. Apparently the entire school hated Cartman, and loved to see someone standing up to him.

 

Elizabeth didn’t really want the attention, cringing as she watched her sister explain away a fabled peace offering that was laced with habanero chili powder. Alice loved to bake.

 

“Aren’t you afraid of him lashing out?” Bebe Stevens asked in a hushed voice between classes. “You’re a pretty nice girl, and I’d hate for you to get hurt.” She was rightly worried.

 

Alice didn’t seem phased, “I’ve dealt with bigger bullies, and honestly he’s getting it better than them. The cupcakes I made for _them_ had laxatives.” She smiled wryly.

 

Elizabeth paid close attention to another girl’s worries, sitting next to Wendy Testaburger the next hour and hearing all about the ‘chili incident’. She almost looked horrified, if not a bit skeptical.

 

The number of students that actually worried for their well being was outnumbered by people laughing at all the stories that collaborated with the tweets, and at lunch, Alice was at the popular girl’s table, having heard of the warnings and not really letting it bother her, because in her words, “Life is too short to give a shit.”

 

Elizabeth didn’t expect to be cornered by the ginger boy from earlier, his face looking stern and slightly worried.

 

“Your sister won’t listen to me, so I hoped you would.” He began. Kyle Broflovski was right to be worried, as Cartman didn’t appear at lunch. “While...it’s fun, to hear about all of this, picking a prank war with Eric Cartman isn’t a sane decision.”

 

Elizabeth put aside her soup, quirking a brow. She seemed to have trouble looking his way, and looked away to pretend he wasn’t there. “One person...can’t be that awful.” She forced herself to talk, and by all intents and purposes she had to pretend that this boy wasn’t a boy.

 

Breathe.

 

Kyle swallowed, trying to catch her eyes, “Yes, one person can. Trust me on this.”

 

She nodded absentmindedly, trying hard not to break into an old habit. This was a new school, damnit, she didn’t want to lash out so soon. “Alice’s the one who’s been starting everything, though I hold no remorse for someone that eats baked goods without asking where they came from.” She said firmly, pausing. “I may have doused him in freezing water, though.”

 

Kyle did his best not to laugh, shaking his head instead. Clearly he didn’t see her nerves, or the way she looked everywhere but at him. “Where were you two when I was in grade school?” The comment was out of left field, and Kyle realized what he just said and bit back his own nervousness. Elizabeth didn’t seem to realize it, training her eyes on the soup. She was too obsessed with keeping herself calm, because she had the biggest urge to scare him off.

 

“Making life miserable for someone else.” Elizabeth mumbled. “Kyle...is it? Broflovski? You live with one anti semite, and me and my sister have lived with ten. …we learned how to fight back.”

 

Kyle looked thoughtful, “Our one is equal to your ten.” He said honestly, “I don’t want you to become a victim.”

 

Elizabeth nodded, looking just as thoughtful as she looked over at her sister, joyously laughing and having a good time. She looked uneasy, feeling like something was lurking.


	2. Black Magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm like 80% done with this story already, the hard part is ending it.

Cartman had been sent home just when word about his nazi pea coat reached the administration. He tried to explain to them why, but was told that he was to get a more non-offensive coat. Thankfully, he knew his mother wasn’t home to scold him even more, and he dragged his red coat out of the dryer, still semi warm.

 

Upon exiting his house he stopped before stepping towards the car, turning directly at the house next door and scowling. He was tempted to chuck rocks at the windows, but a better thought flashed through his mind and he went over to see if anyone was home. It looked dark inside, but the curtains were closed too far to really tell. He looked around the garden, deciding on a good sized rock and smirking, rounding to the back of the house so no one could see as he slammed it through the kitchen window.

 

Breaking and entering was easy for him, and once he was inside he stepped around the broken glass and further into the house. Everything was well furnished, and cozy pictures hung on the wall in the living room. He idly picked up a picture of Elizabeth, sneering at it and glancing away as he broke it open and took the photo inside. Breaking out into a causal whistle, he took a quick sweep of the livingroom to find nothing interesting.

 

The second floor was where the treasures lay. He stepped up to the second floor carefully, glancing at more photos, one of them being a woman older than the twin terrors, wavy hair and green eyes, in the midst of a laugh, next to the man who was their father, looking younger with that Jewish glint in his eye. Fucker.

 

Alice’s room was first, it seemed. He could tell by the horrendous matching of pinks purples and teals. A dresser sat on one side with that large stereo he’d hear over the summer, a portable speaker next to a drone sat beside it. There was a few books of baking recipes, falling apart by the seams. Her bed looked so...desert. Looked like a bunch of ‘indian’ assholes had an orgy on her sheets. A tapestry hung over the bed, looking like a new age hippy piece of bullshit. He scrunched his face, of course she was a hippy. He didn’t waste any time into snooping in her closet, seeing nothing interesting beyond the beaded curtains.

 

The next room looked less eye-bleeding, in muted colors, mostly green and brown. He eyed the violin laying on top of the dresser, wanting to just take it, but recalling those rare moments when he would hear how beautiful it sounded. He realized that _she_ was the source of that, and groaned. No-one that atrocious should make music that beautiful. He decided on picking it up and admiring the craftsmanship instead. He might have been a bastard, a spoilt boy, but he appreciated the finer things. No one really knew his taste in classical music, unless they wanted a fist to their balls. He wasn’t stupid, either, and it wasn’t the ego talking. He had a brilliant mind, and if he put any determination into something, the outcome was greater than he expected. The more he looked over the violin the more he wanted to keep it for himself, but he knew better. This girl, this one didn’t just outright piss him off like her sister did, she took a well taken approach to her actions. If she wasn’t a Jew he’d admire her for it, as she was so fun when angry…

 

He returned the violin quickly, grimacing at where his mind went. He looked over a bookshelf, finding plenty of good novels and something different that caught his eye. It wasn’t well hidden, if it was hidden in the first place. He tugged it out of the tight spot, looking over the aged black leather with faded gold inlay, the words having been rubbed away by time. Opening it to its marked spot introduced him to a yellowed page and a few leaflets of paper sticking out. For a bookshelf containing literary classics, a singular book on occult looked dreadfully out of place.

 

His mind seized that thought, thinking automatically about Jews and dark magic, witches, Satan, imagining Kyle as a spellcasting little shit that used spells to gain his wealth. He snorted, grinning at the indication as he pursued the book. This marked section was about curses. Was she attempting to curse him? He wouldn’t put it past her to attempt that. The more he read, the more concerned he became. Ritual curses, dark spells that required blood, animal sacrifices.

 

He dropped the book, his breath hitching before he remembered himself. A single folded piece of paper slipped from the pages and he snatched it, needing evidence of this girl’s misdeeds. He scrambled quickly to shut the book and cram it back into its place before hurrying out of the house the way he came. He was stricken and pale, thinking the worst and wondering if Elizabeth Horowitz was more than what she seemed.

* * *

  


The day was going by perfectly, if not somewhat careful. The absence of Eric Cartman was quick to the lips of students that attended South Park High School, arousing the suspicion of one twin while the other shrugged it off with a grin.

 

Alice seemed to befriend Red and Bebe, while a curious blonde in an orange parka took notice. Elizabeth, however, seemed to have attracted the attention of one Henrietta Biggle, and her three goth friends.

 

“You’re marked.” She suddenly said to Elizabeth in passing, looking the girl up and down as if assessing her. “Definitely.”

 

Elizabeth tilted her head, “In what sense?”

 

“Not to brag or anything, I’m kind of a witch in training. It’s entirely goth, you know. But since lunch, I’ve seen a weird aura around you--and that twat of a sister.” She gestured with her hands as she talked, looking like she needed a cigarette in one of her hands.

 

The tall goth nodded, leaning on his cane like he needed it, when he clearly didn’t. “It’s so obvi.” He agreed, “You’ve been marked. A curse or something, I don’t really fuckin’ know what.”

 

“I wish that were me.” The smaller of the four said, “I wish I were cursed.”

 

Elizabeth took an awkward step back, smiling a little too quickly and shaking her head, “I’m guessing drugs are rampant here, because you sound like you’re on them.”

 

“Psh, like we’re the druggie conformists in this school.” Red goth rolled his eyes, flipping his hair. “We stick to cigarettes and coffee, like real goths.”

 

She only nodded, “Right…” Elizabeth felt for her gloved hands, just in case, turning away and deciding to take another direction.

* * *

  


The paper felt hot in his pocket, and he pulled into the parking lot of the school with only that in his head. He was dealing with a witch. a black magic Jewish witch. He didn’t know how to deal with this. If it were Kyle, it would have been easier. Kyle was someone he could expect. But no, this girl was an anomaly. This was a new deck of cards he was playing with, one with more risks and higher stakes. He needed to figure out his plan of attack.

 

What was good with fighting a witch? Another fucking witch.

 

He waited to approach her until after school. She was always found in a black van sitting with her freak friends. The van reeked of incense, draped in black with a black shag carpet and black this and black that and why the fuck was everything so fucking black? Goths…

 

His presence seemed to arouse suspicion, as Cartman never approached the goths. This time, however, he was desperate. It was better to fight fire with fire.

 

“That the fuck are you doing here?” The red goth was first, flicking a cigarette over the entrance.

 

“I’m here to talk to the witch.” He was being quiet about it, aware of people milling about in the background. The last thing he wanted to do was call attention to himself.

 

Henrietta snorted in amusement, “Please tell me you want a love potion so you can buttfuck one of your friends.”

 

The tall goth stifled a laugh, “Always knew he was the fag of the group.”

 

“HEY!” Cartman glared at all of them, “First of all, fuck you. Second of all, I’m here for your fucking witchy black magic advice, not a service.”

 

“It’s still going to cost you.” The girl commented, flicking her own cig. “I usually charge a small fee for this shit, but for you I’m charging double.”

 

That irritated him, and he thought about it. Pay this goth bitch or suffer an unforeseeable wrath from the Jew that was obviously planning something against him. Jews were conniving and tricky, and if someone like Kyle could be purely evil then this one was … fuck it.

 

Cartman pulled out a twenty, seriously hoping he wasn’t wasting it. “I’m being targeted by one of your kind.” He waved the bill in front of her, “I need to know what I’m up against, and how to combat it.”

 

Henrietta eyed the bill, reaching for it and snatching it away before the asshole could yank it back. “You’re saying there’s another witch in South Park?”

 

“Not part of this coven, that’s for sure.” The younger one commented, “We would have known if this fat fuck was a target.”

 

“I’m tempted to just let him get fucked.” The red goth grinned.

 

Henrietta held out her hand, pausing the comments, “Now hold on, this is serious. We’re the only fucking coven in South Park and there’s a renegade witch out there targeting people we know, there’s a slim chance we could be mixed up in this.”

 

The tall goth’s eyebrow quirked, “Yeah, but who cares about him?” He threw his arm out at Cartman. “No offense, fatass, but no one likes you.” He said factually.

 

He really wanted to do something, maybe break that fucking cane in half and shove the jagged part up the boy’s asscrack. Fear is what kept him from doing anything, however. He didn’t trust any and all black magic.

 

Henrietta took a drag of her cig, “Enlighten us, fat boy, do you know this person?” She questioned.

 

“Elizabeth Horowitz.” He said it quickly, “I have proof, if you need it.”

 

Henrietta held up her hand and looked back at her friends, all of them exchanging glances before the younger one started to chuckle, one by one they began to follow before she finally shushed them.

 

“That chick’s not a witch, idiot.” She said knowingly, “I know what’s up with her, if you’d like to offer up another twenty.” She had a teasing smile, enjoying the small snickers from her friends.

 

“The fuck! ANOTHER TWE--” Cartman caught himself, glaring at the four of them with a newfound ire. “Motherfucking Christ, of all the people…” He grumbled, shoving his hand in his pocket and fishing for his wallet, checking if he had another.

 

“Hurry the fuck up,” The tall goth snapped his fingers, “We’re not planning to stay here for another hour.”

 

Giving them the other twenty was painful, and he waited impatiently, “Now spill the fucking beans already. I want to know what I’m up against!”

 

Henrietta looked over the twenty, taking her time and holding it up to the light to check the authenticity. “Oh, that’s just plain easy. It’s a fucking curse.”

 

That’s it? That’s the exchange for his money? He quirked a brow, looking like he was duped. “What kind of curse? Give me more than that, you bitch!”

 

“Curses are pretty elaborate, depending on the type. I can’t really tell you what _kind_ it is, but all I know it has something to do with her hands.” Henrietta grinned, “Look at her hands next time, Cartman.”

 

Twenty dollars for the advice to look at fucking hands. He cursed under his breath and turned, finally leaving without saying a word. He lost forty dollars and got nowhere, and he couldn’t deal with them because he didn’t even want to go there. He was rightly afraid of the goths, though he wouldn’t admit it. While they looked like nothing special and were mostly fucking assholes, they dealt with things way darker than he wanted to know about. He couldn’t very well set their van on fire without getting himself hexed afterwards.

 

School was letting out, it seemed. Kids were hurrying to their friends and jumping in their respective cars to go elsewhere. He spotted the twin, the bitch with the braid and a shit-eating grin, hanging out with Bebe and Wendy. He let his eyes wander to the hands curiously, seeing nothing special, just purple gloves. He wondered if he was just pranked by the goth kids, grumbling irritably and leaning back against his own car.

 

Elizabeth came out alone, stepping across the parking lot to her car and looking around for her sister. Of course, she was chatting it up with the blonde and the girl with the barret. She looked irritated for a moment and walked over to them. “Do I wait?” She questioned, not caring what conversation she was interrupting.

 

“Oh, no.” Alice smiled, “Bebe invited me over so I’m going to go with them, alright?”

 

The blonde looked Elizabeth over, as if trying to analyze her. “Yeah, we’re going to get some coffee and hit the mall. I’m sure we have room for another…?”

 

Wendy smiled at Elizabeth, “We haven’t gotten around to it, but Alice has been talking about you. My name’s Wendy, and this is Bebe.” She held out her hand.

 

Elizabeth only looked at it, her own hand hesitating to touch hers before she practically forced herself to return the gesture. It wouldn’t do well to be standoffish so early in the year. “Thank you, but I’m not the type to go shopping.” She said politely.

 

Wendy looked sympathetic at the statement and nodded, finally looking down at her hand and noticing the white gloves. “Oh, you wear those too?”

 

“Wear what?” She questioned, finally looking to where Wendy’s eyes were, yanking her hand back quickly. “Y-yeah, it’s a--”

 

“Religious thing.” Alice said quickly, “Isn’t it, Liz?” She grinned then, reassuringly.

 

Elizabeth remembered that lie, nodding and rubbing her wrist with her other hand, “Pretty much.” She agreed, her eyes trailing off to a small group of boys, at least three. The one with black hair was staring right at Wendy, blushing slightly and offering a hesitant wave.

 

Alice seemed to know who it was, “So that’s the infamous Stan Marsh.” She chuckled at that, “I can see it.” She playfully shoved Wendy, who was trying her best to be nonchalant.

 

Bebe seemed to be seeing something no one else was seeing, eyeing the other boys and glancing back at the twins. “This is funny.” She smirked, cupping a hand over her mouth and whispering something to Wendy, startling the girl.

 

Alice tried to listen in but Wendy shoved her back with her free hand. “Hey!” She pouted.

 

Bebe looked amused, pointing Alice past the three boys to another blonde in a blue coat. “Don’t look, but he’s been staring at you for a while.”

 

It was hard not to look, and Alice acted like she was scanning the horizon, immediately realizing who Bebe was looking at and laughing. “Oh, I know Butters, his locker is next to mine.”

 

“How cute.” Wendy cooed, giggling a little.

 

Elizabeth quirked a brow, not seeing Butters, but another blonde. She rolled her eyes, realizing that two guys were looking her sister’s way. “What about the other one?” She said quietly.

 

Wendy pried her eyes away from Stan to Kenny, shaking her head. “Oh no.”

 

“No what?” Alice asked.

 

“I know Kenny McCormick.” She said quietly, “Now I have nothing against him, he’s Stan’s best friend, but he seems to attract trouble. Granted, he’s a nice guy, but…”

 

“He’s just unlucky.” Bebe finished, adding a little flair to the lie. It was better than listing everything, the three-day stints every now and then when he missed school, his poverty problem, and the fact that his parents were just their own stories. It didn’t really mean that he was a bad guy in general, he just was dealt a bad hand. That and he was a manwhore.

 

Alice didn’t seem to listen, glancing his way. “Why are they just standing there?” She asked, noticing that the three haven’t moved and Stan and Kyle were in a hushed argument.

 

Bebe giggled when Kyle finally shoved Stan towards the girls, the boy looking quite awkward and looking anywhere but his target audience. Bebe nudged Alice aside, grinning. “Ten to one they get back together today.”

 

Elizabeth stepped out of the way to give the two some privacy, feeling like she was being watched. She caught a curious glance from Kyle, and remembered their lunchtime conversation. She chanced a wave, idly wondering if she should just leave until realizing he was walking towards her. She quickly looked back at her car, wanting to literally sprint for it and tear asphalt down the street.

 

She managed to get to her car, though she didn’t sprint, acting as if she didn’t really see him and retreating to the best of her abilities.

 

Alice saw the scene and let out a small laugh, stepping over to Kyle and leaning towards him, “Liz doesn’t do well with guys, just so you know.” She winked playfully.

 

Kyle stepped back, “Uh...I just...we...share AP English…” He said awkwardly, “I only wanted to know if--”

 

“Uh-huh.” She stepped back into his personal space, “You need to know, her fight or flight response is always flight. If you really want, I can give you a detailed list of her weak points and preferred topics.”

 

Kyle really didn’t know how to answer that, staring incredulously at the twin who was practically offering him up info on a girl he was just concerned about. Before he could say anything Kenny was there to rescue him, having heard the discussion and deciding to pull out what charm he had.

 

“I could use a list, but instead of her weak points, I wouldn’t mind reading about yours.” He smiled cheekily.

 

Alice looked amused at that and grinned, “That would cost you at least ten dollars.” She said.

 

Kyle coughed, clearly uncomfortable. “Kenny--”

 

“Hold on there Ky, I’m making a deal.” Kenny interrupted him, looking back at Alice. “I can counter that offer with a better one, say a meal in the finest spot inside City Wok, maybe on a Friday, after six?”

 

Kyle just gave up, parting from the two friends that began to flirt with their respective targets. Stan looked like he was being given a fifteenth chance at a relationship, and Kenny was probably going to do well.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the rusty brown car that he knew the owner of, pulling out and escaping the parking lot.


	3. Obsessions and Accusations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this last night, and I'm really happy about it because I'm like on fifteen different fics and I rarely finish anything. So, be happy for me!
> 
> Also, do I really got to warn you about Cartman being anti-semitic? I think it's expected of the guy at this point.

The first alarming thing that night was the police car parked in front of the house. Elizabeth’s lips pressed together into a thin line, seeing her father’s car in the driveway and the blaring lights above the police car. She pulled in carefully, stepping out and crossing the front yard.

 

“What’s going on here?” She questioned, finding her father smoking a cigarette and sitting on the stoop. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes giving away how ragged he looked, but ever since he began working at the hospital, they always looked that way.

 

“Break in.” He said simply, not looking up at her, “No signs of anything taken, although one of your pictures are missing.” He looked bothered by that, “Where’s your sister?”

 

“She made friends.” Elizabeth explained, shrugging her bag from her shoulder. “Who could have broken in?”

 

He looked hesitant to answer, as the cop was still inside, finally looking up at her and standing, “I’m wondering if it’s the cultists, actually.” He said in a whisper.

 

Elizabeth blinked, shaking her head. She smiled tensely and patted his arm. “It probably was a random break in, nothing sinister.” She reached up to grab the cig out of his mouth and dropped it, stepping on the cherry. “You’re a doctor, stop smoking.”

 

Her father looked slightly offended at her mothering, shaking his head and running a hand through his unkempt hair. “You’re just like your mother.”

 

She gave him a real smile, quickly, until the sight of a familiar woman came into view and the smile vanished into a bothered frown. “Mrs. Cartman.” She said.

 

Liane looked worried, “Richard, dear. Did something happen, are you alright?” She asked, eyes full of concern.

 

Richard shook his head, “Just a random break-in, Liane.” He smiled slightly. “I was at work.”

 

“Do you know that your son wore a nazi coat to school?” Elizabeth questioned suddenly, quirking a brow.

 

Liane looked embarrassed, not having known. “Oh, I thought I told Eric not to wear those things.” Just as she said it, her son’s car pulled into the driveway. She looked back, torn between scolding her son and apologizing to Richard.

 

Elizabeth glared at Cartman as he exited the car, having looked at the police vehicle for a second and shrugging. His eyes locked with hers for a moment, and immediately the girl realized who broke in.

 

“It was you!” She cried out, gritting her teeth and heading straight for him. “You’re the asshole who broke into the house!”

 

Cartman looked offended, “The hell I did!” He snapped, standing his ground. “What gives you the authority to claim that?”

 

Elizabeth stopped halfway, “You’ve been missing all afternoon, that’s why. You piece of shit, wanting to get back at us somehow and deciding to break into our house?” She inched her way forward, “If you so much as took anything, I will fucking kick your ass with a pair of seven inch heels.”

 

He snarled at her, “Why in the world would I take anything from that fucking house? You have nothing to offer me, all that shit in there is just that, SHIT!” His voice was louder, and Elizabeth looked like a pissed off cat, strictly holding herself back from completely attacking the boy because there was a police officer just watching them argue.

 

She stepped closer to him, realizing for a split second that it would go her way if she wasn’t the first to attack. She extended her finger, pointing it at his chest and prodding it hard. “Playing dumb can only get you so far, and someday your act is going to slip and expose the evil fuck that you’re pretending not to be.” She accentuated her words with more prods to his chest, watching him glare at her hand. “I will get the last laugh, in the end.” She said it above a whisper, smirking at him, her finger slipping away then.

 

He knew what she was doing, he knew. Provoke the beast into attacking first, all while there’s witnesses. If that cop wasn’t there, he would have gave into the ruse, but he wasn’t as stupid as she thought he was. His eyes were trained on the hand, however, catching a close up view of the white form fitting fabric that protected her fingers from touching anything else. He remembered the goth’s words, narrowing his eyes. He wanted to know what she was hiding, rip that fucking glove off and see what was underneath it.

 

“Elizabeth!” Richard finally approached them, tearing her away from Cartman while Liane did the same with her son, both parents forcefully separating the two until they were in their respective houses, out of sight.

 

“Oh, that was strange.” Liane commented as she peeked out the window, smiling at the sight of Richard before he went inside. “Eric sweetie, are you sure that dear girl hates you?” She asked innocently, looking thoughtful.

 

Eric was in the middle of eating his anger, quirking a brow at his mother as he shoved a handful of chips in his mouth. “You just fuckin’ saw that, ma!” He argued.

 

“Oh honey, I’ve seen a lot of things in my day.” She continued, smiling curiously, “Love tends to spark in strange places.”

 

The chips caught in his throat after a sharp intake of breath and he began hacking, scrambling for a chug of soda to clear the airway before staring at his mother like she lost a few brain cells. “Seriously? You think that bitch likes me?”

 

It reminded her of one of those trashy novels in her bedroom, of course, where mutual hatred erupted into a passionate romance between pirate battles and kidnappings. Liane was lost in thought, suddenly realizing she had mentally wandered off and nodding, “Honey, remember what I said about that word.” She said sternly, switching topics quickly. “That dear girl is quite pretty and her father’s wonderfully handsome…” Though Richard seemed to reject her advances whenever they were together, but it didn’t bother her. She always got what she wanted.

 

His throat hurt from the chip being lodged into his windpipe, and he scowled. His mother was clearly in fantasy land, and he took another swig of soda before ignoring her completely and stalking off to his room. He put his hands in his pockets, feeling paper and pulling out the photo he grabbed earlier, staring at it and trying to bore a hole through the girl with brown hair and green eyes. He realized he was staring a little too long at the picture and threw it into a drawer in his nightstand, looking at the second paper and unfolding it to read the contents.

 

_Wrath_

_Pride_

_Envy_

_Gluttony_

_Sloth_

_Lust_

_Greed_

 

What the fuck did that mean? He went to church enough times to know what the seven deadly sins are, but why would this be hidden in a black magic book?

 

He shrugged, throwing the paper into his drawer and shutting it before rubbing his face with his hands. Fifteen million thoughts ran through his head and his imagination wanted to find links where there weren’t any. Shit was never normal, was it? Ever since grade school and an alien stuck something up his ass, everything had been a wild fucking story at every twist and turn.

* * *

  


The only two Jewish families never got around to meeting each other, during summer and a month into the school year, as Richard worked through the week and synagogue was never something he partook in. He wasn’t as religious as his mother wanted him to be, but providing for his children came first and he assumed that God would respect him in that regard.

 

They crossed paths at the Whole Foods, as the man was easy to spot, never leaving his doctors coat aside because he was constantly forgetful, the tired man looking over produce when Shelia stepped next to him while eyeing the pears. Her curiosity fell upon the man next to her, catching his nametag and smiling widely. “Oh, this is a peasant surprise!” She said honestly, turning to him.

 

Richard put back the strawberries he was inspecting, frowning curiously at the heavy set woman. “Excuse me?”

 

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks!” She explained, “Oh, you’re such a difficult person to get in touch with, I can’t even find you on facebook.”

 

He smiled nervously, “I don’t really--”

 

“No matter!” She said instantly, “I won’t judge you for being too busy to go to synagogue, I know how hard it is being a single father.” She continued, taking his hand and shaking it. “Sheila Broflovski, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Horowitz.”

 

All of a sudden the random woman’s ramblings made sense, remembering the notes from his nurse about someone needing to speak to him, all being forgotten when his beeper would go off. “I do apologize, please, call me Richard.” He smiled then, “I would have gotten back to you, but I tend to lose my train of thought for a bit.”

 

The pleasantries continued and Richard never met a woman who talked so fast and commanded a conversation so well, and in the span of fifteen minutes he was left with a dinner date for next Sunday, blinking owlishly after she had departed and staring down at the paper he was given. He forgot all about the strawberries after that, leaving his spot to continue the rest of the list.

 

While her father was caught in the whirlwind storm of a one Sheila Broflovski, a one Elizabeth Horowitz had been avoiding the first son like the plague. Some things couldn’t be helped, and one of those things were holding a conversation with a boy. She didn’t understand it at all, as their first conversation went smoothly, though remembering that conversation was something of a nightmare, it was one of those moments where you remember doing something but you know you weren’t there to begin with.

 

She proceeded to distract herself with books, appearing busy or too distracted to be bothered. It was how she survived Phoenix, burying her head behind a novel just for the sake of avoiding contact with others. Though, while it worked back in grade school, high school was an entirely different story.

 

She ducked her head behind the book when he sat across from her, pretending it was some kind of a shield. It was nearly the fourth week without talking to him, and she was doing great so far…

 

“Hey.” He sounded annoyed, though anyone would if someone had been ducking into the bathrooms at every chance to avoid you.

 

She ignored him, hoping he’d go away. Clearly he wouldn’t make a scene in the lunchroom, would he?

 

“You know, I’m only concerned about you, nothing weird.” He said eventually, rolling his eyes at the situation. “My mom has been wanting to meet your dad and I think we’re supposed to have dinner on Sunday.” He added, finally reaching for the book and nudging it down. “We could at least attempt to be friends?”

 

Elizabeth’s ruse wasn’t working, and she forced herself to breathe, closing the book properly and folding her hands over it, looking right at him. She tried to speak, really, where were your linguistic skills the first time you spoke to him?

 

“I’m not a conversationalist.” She finally mumbled out, knowing someone else was staring at her, a certain twin with an annoying grin.

 

“Yeah.” Kyle said nervously, glancing back at the other girl. “Your sister told me that much.”

 

Her eye twitched, “Did she?”

 

“She offered to give me a cheat sheet on talking to you, actually.” He said with an amused smile, hoping she’d find it funny. He saw the irritated glare that she pointed in her twin’s direction, laughing slightly. “Honestly, I’m only here to be a friend.”

 

Alice was watching the conversation intently, grinning and nudging Bebe, “Look.”

 

“She looks like a scared deer.” Red commented with a giggle.

 

“Oh that poor girl.” Bebe smirked, “How did she survive without talking to boys at all? She looks so deprived!”

 

Alice snickered, “She does this thing, the initial fight and flight response is to act angry and scare them away, if they keep coming back then she just loses it and avoids them at all cost.” She let out a laugh then, enjoying the display.

 

“She’s going to have a hard time with this one,” Red said, “Kyle’s like his mother, sorta bossy and demanding.” She picked up a fry only to drop it, her eyes wide and staring back at Bebe. “Do you think he likes her?” She gasped.

 

Bebe joined her, laughing. “Makes enough sense, he’s been trying to talk to her for three weeks.”

 

Alice looked shocked, staring back at them both again. “I guess I’m giving him that cheat sheet.” She said idly.

 

“He’s going to need all the help he can get.” Red laughed.

 

“Who?” Wendy asked, setting her tray down on the table. Bebe looked at her and quirked a brow, seeing that Wendy was slightly flushed.

 

“Stop playing tonsil hockey with the boyfriend and we’ll tell you.” She quipped, smirking when Wendy shoved her.

 

“What Stan and I do in private--” She began, huffing indignantly before Alice cut in.

 

“Will be known to the girls after a half hour of details.” She smiled brightly.

 

Wendy glared at her, two could play this game. “So that means when you skip homeroom to make out with Kenny--”

 

Red snorted, “Kenny McCormick?”

 

“I’ll have you know, Wendy,” Alice defended herself, “He’s a good kisser.”

 

Bebe whistled, “If you ignore the poverty thing, he’s got that and his looks going for him at least.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “The poverty ‘thing’ doesn’t really bother me.” Alice said, “He can carry a conversation and is quite fun to be around.”

 

“That’s good, at least.” Wendy complimented, already over the small argument. “Just stop skipping classes.”

 

Alice smirked then, “Hey, I’m not skipping them, I’m deathly ill and sometimes I need to lie down.”

 

“In the back of a beat up old truck.” Red finished for her, causing Bebe to cackle.

 

“The girls are very loud today.” Stan commented, listening to the laughter.

 

“The girls are always loud.” Kenny stole some of Stan’s fries, leaning to the side and eyeing Kyle. “Looks like he’s getting somewhere.”

 

Stan snorted, “Wendy says that one’s kinda iffy, I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.” He glanced over at Cartman, who was just glaring at his food. “Shesh, what pissed you off now?”

 

“Really?” Cartman flicked a fry off the mountain in his tray, “You’re really going to sit there and be all calm and complacent when the fucking Jew is over there doing some kind of Jew-y mating call to another Jew to make some Jewbies!”

 

“Forget I asked.” Stan muttered, rolling his eyes.

 

“Never thought I’d see Cartman being pissed about Kyle getting more action than him.” Kenny snorted, fully amused. “Looks like he’s jealous, but is he jealous of the girl or the dude?”

 

“Fuck you Kinny!” Cartman spat out.

 

The only one who hadn’t talked was Butters, who was still nursing his thermos of milk and watching a certain someone. He finally realized there was a conversation happening and tried to keep up, “Well I think it’s kinda sweet that Kyle’s got a crush.”

 

“No one asked you, Butters.” Cartman almost shouted, just looking plain angry at the two having a pleasant chat. They could be talking about the weather for all he knew, but all he could see was something even more threatening.

 

“Kyle’s mom kinda roped her dad into dinner, from what he said.” Stan explained, “He’s pretty friendly with Alice already, but then that isn’t as hard as the sister.”

 

“High school is like a hotbed for hormones, though.” Kenny began, “It’s every man for himself, you know. You need to close in before it’s too late.” He gave Alice a wave and a grin, not noticing Butters’ glare. “I’m hoping for Homecoming.” He nudged Stan then, winking.

 

Stan nudged him back, both of them saying something, neither Butters or Cartman were listening to. Somewhere between their own mopiness, a sudden thought stuck Cartman and he looked at Butters, the wheels turning in his head while he mulled over that thought.

 

The thought stayed in his head for a few days, as planning needed time and accurate research. He could get it done by the end of the week, after having to convince his long-time friend that he was doing something sentimental.


	4. Dinner Party: Part 1

The thing that was disconcerting to him was how Cartman wasn’t doing what Cartman does. After his one transgression with Scott Tenorman, he ended up serving the kid his parents in the form of chili. Anything that seemed to anger Cartman, he took to personal extremes and dished out a revenge that topped his last.

 

Given what he learned about his recent war with the Horowitz twins, he had a right to be concerned for their well being, since he was a fucking human being with a heart. He couldn’t take amusement in the fact that the twins had bested him for around three months and he has yet to bite back.

 

So that’s why he befriended them. He felt like he had to, and if Kyle knew what his new friends were doing then he could save them before anything happened. He texted Alice regularly, and was starting to speak to Elizabeth better than the first time. They were good people, he found out. Their father was a pediatric doctor who only took up working far from home after having raised the twins enough for them to be by themselves without supervision. Elizabeth was someone he knew his mother would begin to torment him about dating given how much he talked about her, and Alice was easy going despite being slightly mischievous. It was obvious why Kenny gravitated to her.

 

The worrying had to at least stop on the specified Sunday, where he was forced to dress nice with a tie and sweater vest while his mom pulled out the good china. He didn’t really know why it was going to be so fancy, and she seemed excited about something. He really, honestly, hoped that his mother wasn’t going to set him up. But then, it would be his own fault if she did. He was to blame for the Sunday dinner to begin with.

 

His mother was dressed up nice and proper, and his dad wore a not-so-formal suit. Ike was wearing his best clothes and looking slightly irritated that he was roped into this, having had plans to be at a friend’s house the week prior. The younger of the two honestly looked like he could run out of here at any time, if his mother wasn’t one of those people who would track him down afterwards and make him regret it.

 

Richard’s car was old, a Geo Metro that sounded louder than its size. It reminded him of a Mini Cooper, but not so fancy. The man in question looked like he hadn’t slept in two days, his chin looking clean shaven save for a couple of spots that had tissues stuck to them, while his hair looked like it attempted to behave, yet ended up wild anyway. His suit was slightly wrinkled, a dark brown with a blue tie. The girls looked freezing, and that made Kyle laugh slightly. They were in dresses, and Alice looked more uncomfortable than her sister, shifting from side to side in a cute floral pattern, while Elizabeth looked more mature with a forest green dress and black stockings. In Elizabeth’s hand was a violin case, something she kept close to herself like it was a precious child.

 

“I think I could have worn pants and still looked good.” Alice said with a grumble, tugging her gloves higher on her arms as she removed her coat.

 

Elizabeth chose not to hear her sister, putting on a gracious fake smile for Kyle’s mother, one that only Kyle noticed the authenticity of, watching everyone greet each other. Ike seemed to match Elizabeth’s fake smile with his own, and he was smart enough to see that Elizabeth too didn’t want to be there. The younger felt better that he wasn’t the only one.

 

Richard sat with the adults, going into a conversation that no one really cared about unless they were sitting at the couch. Elizabeth found shelter upstairs with Alice, Kyle and Ike.

 

“This is too fancy.” Alice stated out immediately, leaning against the doorway.

 

“We don’t get a choice in this.” Elizabeth said from the chair next to the computer, her case in her lap.

 

“It’s not that bad,” Kyle said calmly, pausing for a moment and quickly adding, “They want to get together and chat, so it’s not really hurting anyone.”

 

“Says mom’s favorite.” Ike stuck his tongue out. He didn’t really feel like tormenting his brother further by telling Elizabeth why they were really here, but given the look on Kyle’s face the ginger boy knew he owed Ike a favor.

 

“I’m fine with my father getting together with another person to talk, but it doesn’t mean that he has to let your mother rope me into performing for everyone.” Elizabeth argued, not noticing Ike and Kyle’s silent discussion.

 

Kyle wanted to change the subject, “How long have you been playing?”

 

Elizabeth allowed it, “Since I was five.”

 

“She’s a fucking prodigy.” Alice teased, smirking.

 

“What a coincidence!” Ike perked up, grinning. “I skipped most of grade school.” He liked to brag.

 

Alice grinned weakly, “I can code, if that counts.”

 

Kyle quirked a brow her way, “Wait, you can code? Two days ago you were trying to get Kenny to help you in computer class.” He eyed her suspiciously.

 

Alice gave him a wry smirk. “Ladies like to keep secrets.”

 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, proceeding to get into a light conversation with Ike while Alice proceeded to unearth secrets about herself that only her sister knew, nothing obscene however. The basement of their house is where her real room was, with a collection of computers and various parts that accumulated into a laboratory or sorts. 

 

A laboratory that Cartman was discovering upon entering the basement. With this break in, he used a lock pick, making sure not to leave any evidence of damages or else the bitch would be banging down his door to scream at him. He stayed at the top of the basement, staring down at the room and the futon in the corner, the array of monitors that were expertly wired and put together along with the walls covered with small shelves that held various computer components. He gave out a whistle, it was more impressive than his own setup, but he had doubts on Elizabeth’s relation to this, or Alice. Alice wasn’t smart enough, unless she was just as crafty as the twin.

 

A large chalkboard displayed information that was hard to decipher, he wasn’t that far into his math courses but he knew trigonometry when he saw it. It looked like a diagram, carefully planned out. He continued to step further down, his eyes coming onto a sole bookshelf in the corner that was partially covered with a hippie tapestry. Maybe it  _ was _ the stupid twin.

 

Jackpot.

 

The necronomicon was the first book he pointed out, then an old bible that was bigger than all the books, various occult books and things he’d thought he’d only find around the goth kids. A stack of notebooks were on the shelf below, all piled into a milk crate and unmarked. He picked one up to look through it, curious.

  
  


_ Feb 12 _

 

_ The last words of the nurse that murdered her were just inane ramblings. She didn’t really know I was there, but the rage, the anger that I was seeing was the only thing I saw of her. It was like the sin completely possessed her, and she lost her mind in the process. She died a week later, the prison doctors saying that it was a brain hemorrhage. It wasn’t that, it was the sin. Wrath possessed her, then ate her from the inside. _

 

_ I never thought I’d see that curse, that Charlotte’s curse would actually affect anyone. I didn’t know that she was actually being serious, saying that the cult had cursed her for leaving them. The nurse wasn’t the one to blame, it was the curse that caused her to kill Charlotte and later it was the curse that consumed her. I have to tell myself that, I have to. I have to convince myself that this curse isn’t a joke and my daughters could inflict it upon anyone if they’re not careful. I’ve seen what Wrath can do, but what about Lust, Pride, Envy? What about Gluttony or Greed or Sloth. I don’t want them to go through what their mother did. As long as they don’t touch anyone with their hands, then I can make sure they live a good life. _

  
  


_ Feb 29 _

 

_ Alice nearly touched her teacher without her gloves on. She managed to get away, and nothing happened. It worries me, though. Even with the gloves, they’re still in danger. I need to figure it out, I need to know how this curse works, maybe trace it back to the cult itself. They can’t live a good life if they’re constantly aware of what can go wrong. If they have children, then what will those children have to do? I don’t really want to go back there, to the town my wife lived before she left, but what choice do I have? If I need answers, I need to get back to the source. South Park’s where the answer is-- _

 

Cartman shut the book quickly, staring at the notebook’s cover with wide eyes while his hands started to shake. Was this what the goth meant? They were cursed with sins?

 

Christ.

 

Motherfucking Christ.

 


	5. Dinner Party: Part 2

Sitting around the dinner table was a chore, with forced smiles and attempts at pleasant conversation. Elizabeth really felt weird, how Kyle’s mother questioned her studies, her future education, her dream job. She felt like she was giving out a resume. AP everything, Yale (hopefully) and psychiatry.

 

Alice didn’t seem to have trouble with answering her future endeavors, although she wasn’t as impressive as her sister. Gerald was impressed knowing her work with computers, how she planned to go to college at Cornell University for a degree in electrical engineering, only if being self-taught couldn’t wrangle herself a job.

 

“Everything requires a college degree these days,” She shrugged lightly, “I don’t really care for college, but if I have to then…” She trailed off, not quite looking concerned.

 

“I’m sure your father would like you to go to college, dear.” Sheila said with that voice of disapproval, “Excuse me for saying, but a good degree will get you farther than just a highschool diploma.”

 

Elizabeth saw the bothered look on Alice’s face, knowing the girl was holding back a tirade on how she knew more at the age of sixteen than any college graduate knew now, but decided to step in. “This pot roast is delicious, Mrs. Broflovski.” She said kindly, “Did Alice tell you that she enjoys baking?”

 

The conversation dropped from education to cooking, and Alice looked relieved, “I was baking a lot over the summer.” She said with a small grin, the mischievous glint was in her eye. “Cookies, cupcakes, pies. Baking is just the same as science, so it comes naturally to me.”

 

Kyle laughed nervously, remembering the instagram photos of Cartman’s ‘treats’ he received over the summer. Back when he didn’t realize who sent them. It reminded him not to get on Alice’s bad side lest he’d get a gift of wasabi cookies.

 

That summer was the beginning of Eric Cartman’s war with the Horowitz twins, or at least one of them. A series of slurs and insults led to a wayward firework that smashed through Cartman’s bedroom window and Alice Horowitz denying her involvement. It escalated from there, with sugar in the gas tank, a bag of flaming shit on the front door, and a brick through the living room window. From there, Alice took it to another level with her own brand of payback, leaving pastries at the door one evening for Eric from a secret admirer, with cream filled cupcakes where the cream was replaced with toothpaste. Curry infused muffins, habanero cookies, cakes with vegemite, and so on. Alice seemed to be on a roll with her decidedly awful treats, as Cartman always ate it without thinking. It earned her a rightful place in the popular girl’s table, while her sister seemed to be taking the backlash. Elizabeth held her own perfectly well, with her own arsenal of insults and weapons. A taser, pepper spray, all those fun defensive items used on attackers. She proved that she could handle Cartman’s ire, and Alice proved that she could prank better than anyone.

 

He still wondered when Cartman would begin to unleash his own havoc. The longer he waited, the more worried he became. He expected to hear about Richard going missing and Cartman offering them a meat pie made with their father’s torso, or something that horrible. However, the twins were okay, and the father was safe. Kyle winced, remembering that this night wasn’t supposed to be filled with worry for their safety. They were all perfectly fine now.

 

Dinner ended without any sort of disaster, as Elizabeth maneuvered around Kyle’s mother with expertise when Alice became irritated. She saved face from at least three separate oncoming disasters, and it was clear that Alice and Kyle’s mother had strong opinions that didn’t mix well.

 

Kyle chanced a smile at Elizabeth, inwardly thanking God that she was quick. She managed to smile back at him, however the sight didn’t pass Sheila without notice, bringing up something he was trying to avoid.

 

“Elizabeth and Kyle get along well, don’t you think so Richard?” She asked the father, who was slightly spacing out. He blinked quickly and realized he was being talked to, looking from his daughter to Kyle and nodding.

 

“Elizabeth doesn’t really get along with other boys, but I’m slightly impressed.” He explained, making Alice hold back an amused grin. She knew where this was going.

 

“My bubbeh is quite a nice young man,” She turned her attention to the girl in question, smiling. “Have you ever considered--”

 

“Ma!” Kyle was beet red, “Liz isn’t like that.”

 

Sheila chuckled, “Oh, it’s _Liz_ now? You two would be so good together!”

 

Elizabeth looked like a deer in headlights, staring at Kyle for help before switching her sights to Alice, who was failing at keeping a straight face.

 

“How about this?” Richard saved the day, looking completely awkward, “Liz, honey, I’m sure everyone would love to hear you play now.”

 

Elizabeth kicked her sister under the table, placing on her patented fake smile and nodding, relief washing over her. “Alright.”

 

“Let’s all return to the livingroom,” Sheila didn’t mind the change in subject, “Gerald, honey, bring a couple of chairs.”

 

Gerald looked happy he wasn’t being dragged in the middle of this, him and Richard exchanging looks before they both took a chair.

 

Elizabeth let out a tired sigh, grabbing her violin case and willing herself not to be nervous. Playing for your family, playing by yourself, was far different than playing in front of people you just met. She let her fingers run over the strings, attempting to gather every ounce of energy she had.

 

Kyle seemed to notice her nervousness, but then she never hid it away from the day he met her. He stepped over and tried a supportive smile, “Hey, there’s nothing to worry about, Alice says you’re great.”

 

Elizabeth sighed, “Of course she told you…”

 

“Actually, she livestreams your practices.” He corrected her, “If it makes you feel better, I think you’re fantastic.”

 

Whether it helped her or not, Kyle didn’t know, and she put aside the thought of breaking her sister’s phone as she took the violin out. Kyle was back at the couch when she turned around, and she got into position.

 

“Freebird!” Alice called out, breaking Gerald’s poker face as he laughed.

 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, starting into something she was good at. Brahms Violin Sonata number Three. Even without the accompanying piano, she played it perfectly and swept everyone’s attention, aside from Richard as he spaced out completely, and for at least twenty minutes, she lost herself in her own music, focusing on nothing but her hands and the violin.

 

When it was over Richard seemed to compose himself again, the clapping prompting him to join in. Elizabeth gave out an honest smile and curtsied for everyone, promptly avoiding Kyle’s eyes with a slight blush to her cheeks.

* * *

 

Her feet ached, Alice surmised, entering the house and promptly removing her black flats with a relieved sigh. “Next time can we just be casual?” She asked her father.

 

“Stop that, Alice.” Richard teased, “You look lovely in a dress.”

 

She rolled her eyes, “Dresses aren’t practical.” She argued, promptly leaving before Richard could recite the attire of fifteenth century damsels.

 

Elizabeth was the last to step inside, having given a cautious stare at the house next door for a moment. After last week’s stunt she wasn’t sure about the security of her house anymore. Especially when Kyle yet again talked about him to warn her.

 

It was quiet and peaceful, something that was scarce in this town. She only relaxed when she was behind closed doors, keeping her eyes off the curtained window that faced a certain someone's and promptly changing into something comfortable. Playing the violin got her into a mood that nothing ever did, and she flipped through her sheet music for another song.

 

Carnival of the Animals, by Saint-Saëns.

 

Alice was right at the door with her phone out, grinning from ear to ear as Elizabeth started playing, she knew livestreaming the entire show was a good idea, seeing that a handful of her followers were viewing, especially a certain ginger.

 

Elizabeth didn’t notice Alice at the door, nor did she care. She was all alone for all she knew, or on a stage below grand lights in front of thousands of people. She smiled while she played, the symphony behind her own violin music playing in her mind.

 

One of her viewers was sitting next door, eyes glued to his own personal feed from the spy camera he set up. She was playing the whole thing. The entire fourteen pieces. It was clear she played it before, expertly substituting missing instruments with her own violin. It was intense and almost mesmerizing, bringing up more thoughts he rather not delve into and doing his best to ignore them.

 

It was getting hard to ignore them.


	6. Good Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Butters, my poor son.

Happiness was hard to fake when people seemed to be better at the emotion than yourself. Really, he should have not cared as much, but in a way it did. Kenny had the better life, in his eyes. Even though his parents fought every day and drank themselves silly, did drugs, and often got in trouble, at least they  _ loved _ him. Kenny’s parents were still together, and they still loved their family despite all the hardships. Meanwhile, he was stuck with the Stotches, two adults who had no right having a child with all the mental abuse they dish out on their own son every single day. It’s no wonder he had problems.

 

Nothing ever looked like it should. His family was picture perfect, until you get behind closed doors and realize how dysfunctional it really is. Meanwhile Kenny’s family looked like something from a COPS episode, but it was held together better than his own. But then, Kenny was the reason it held together. He seemed to keep his parents in line, while Butters couldn’t dare to defy his father no matter how unfair he was being.

 

He wasn’t really bothered, or at least he convinced himself that he wasn’t. Kenny was a nice guy, and he deserved to get nice things. But so was Butters. He was nice, and polite, and helpful, and it seemed that he got crap everywhere he turned. Crap from his parents, crap from his friends, crap crap crap. But he continued to be the nice guy, because he believed in karma. It would come back around, would it? Someday.

 

That’s how he began getting bothered with Kenny. They seemed to like the same things, and eventually, Butters would let Kenny have his way. Because he was nice, of course. He didn’t mind going without. He would give up his extra ticket to the movies, or his favorite sandwich, valentines day chocolates he meant to give to a girl he liked but Kenny had a sweet tooth and never got any valentines of his own. It always started with the little things.

 

Then in sixth grade, he fell for a lovely girl. She was chatty and fun and loved Hello Kitty as much as he did, was into things like anime and manga. She was a dream! He didn’t know that Kenny also liked her. Somewhere between baking her cookies and throwing them into the trash can he caught the object of his crush making out with the fella. It was a little bit after Kenny decided to show everyone how dashing he looked under the hood.

 

Kenny had something he didn’t have. Kenny had charm. He had confidence and charisma and despite his obvious shortcomings, he made up for it by charming the pants off of girls, literally. He was a smooth talker and always got what he wanted, if it was for a short time or a much longer romance, it was like Kenny lived each day like he could die tomorrow.

 

Butters was rightly jealous, because suddenly everything came so easily to Kenny. Meanwhile he had to work twice as hard and be the best he could be to actually be looked at. It was frustrating.

 

Especially now, especially when he met a smart girl that loved to bake as much as he did, whose locker was next to his own where he had a chance to catch her smile and those bright green eyes. A girl who he looked at in awe because she defied Eric Cartman over and over again and lived to tell about it. A girl who shared most of his classes and gave him plenty of opportunities to befriend her.

 

A girl who got snatched up by Kenny before he could even try.

 

Butters couldn’t let it go, he tried so hard to let it go, but it was impossible. He just hated seeing them together. Brief moments he caught them sharing a joke or flirting or even exchanging glances, it was gut wrenching. Because it was only an amount of time until he got his way and tossed her aside to make another play at someone else. She didn’t deserve that, nor did the girls before her. Alice deserved better, and better was standing down the hall watching her join Bebe in harassing Clyde with a Hello Kitty backpack on his person.

 

So when Eric Cartman suggested something to him, he threw caution to the wind and listened.

* * *

  
  


Alice was the first to open the door, smiling at the sight of Butters. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite science partner!” She greeted him jovially, “Come in, come in. Perfect timing!” She was wearing goggles and latex gloves, an apron over what she was wearing. “I was testing out the new shipment I just got in.” She grinned, waiting for him to shut the door before whispering. “Ghost pepper extract mixed in cream cheese filling for a red velvet cupcake.” She looked almost giddy, like a mad scientist.

 

Butters looked alarmed at the explanation, sputtering at first before cracking a smile. “Holy moly Alice! That’s pretty hot.” He followed her further inside, crossing the threshold to the kitchen and peering at the filling. “Don’tcha think that Eric might get suspicious?” He asked honestly, his brows knitted in worry.

 

“Oh this isn’t for Cartman.” Alice had a Cheshire grin as she continued mixing the batter, “Bebe asked for my services, as it seems that Clyde isn’t behaving like an honest boyfriend. She wants to give him a good warning, but I have a feeling he’s not going to react the way I want him to.” She laughed then, “That little shit likes the ultra spicy stuff.”

 

Butters relaxed somewhat, laughing nervously and setting down his backpack. He continued to stare at the frosting and it took all of his willpower not to try any. He’s tasted her desserts before and when they weren’t for malicious purposes, they were heaven. “H-how many drops did you put in it?” He asked curiously.

 

Alice glanced at the bottle of extract on the kitchen counter. “About fifteen.”

 

“Oh geeze.” He looked pale at that, shaking his head and getting back to the reason he stopped by. “Is Liz around?” Butters asked then, “I thought I’d make some cookies for the both of you, they’re peanut butter oatmeal.”

 

Alice smiled at that, setting down the batter and calling for her sister. “Hey Liz!” She reached up to take her goggles off, “You’re such a sweetie.” She took the latex gloves off her white ones, moving to set them aside.

 

Butters watched her curiously, “Isn’t that weird?” He wondered.

 

Alice glanced at her hands and then at the latex gloves, shrugging after a while. “I’m used to it.”

 

Elizabeth seemed to peek her way into the other room, relaxing when she recognized the Hello Kitty backpack and blue jacket. “I caught blonde hair but I wasn’t sure if it was your idiot boyfriend or not.” She commented.

 

Butters forced out a laugh that matched Alice’s, turning to see the twin make her way further inside and quickly stopped her before Elizabeth took a finger to the cream cheese. “Hold it, Liz!” He swapped her hand quickly. “There’s about fifteen shots of ghost pepper in that.”

 

Elizabeth froze to stare at the bowl, looking shocked and then giving her sister a hard glare. “I thought I told you not to buy that!” She shouted.

 

Alice put on her best look of innocence. “I don’t think Clyde will even flinch at habanero powder.”

 

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Of course,  _ him _ . The boy who did the one chip challenge and wanted another. “I don’t think that one’s human.” She said honestly, reaching up to ruffle Butters’ mohawk. “Thanks for warning me.”

 

Butters smiled gleefully at her, reaching into his backpack and pulling out a tupperware container filled to the brim with small cookies, ones that didn’t look suspiciously evil and made from the Horowitz family kitchen.

 

Alice grinned and reached for one when the container was opened, “Score.”

 

Elizabeth took one for herself, “Is there enough for dad or are you going to hoard them all?” She questioned her sister, quirking a brow as she bit into it, stealing one for Butters and handing it to him before her sister took the rest. Butters happily accepted and bit into it.

 

Alice looked offended, “I have you know that my Buttercup puts enough love into these cookies to last me years,  _ of course _ I’m hoarding them all.” She reached for the container greedily, making the blonde blush at her words.

 

Butters, as flattered as he was, looked nervous. He stayed quiet to the fact that Cartman came up with the idea for the cookies, but he didn’t really know why he had to keep that part a secret. He did his best to put all the love he had into them, that was true. Cartman told him it was a great way to get into Alice’s good graces by baking her presents like this. Sometimes he felt like Cartman wasn’t such a bad guy, if he was trying to help him with his love life.

 

The feeling went to shit fifteen minutes later when everyone passed out.

* * *

  
  


Richard didn’t really expect the chaos he was coming home to, seeing the cop cars sitting in the driveway of his house while Alice and Elizabeth were bundled up in blankets. Elizabeth was in a heated argument with Liane Cartman, and when he stepped out the car he realized Elizabeth was screaming.

 

“Why are you defending him?” Elizabeth was shaken, pointing wildly at the house next to hers. “Your fucking son is a monster, I know it was him!”

 

“Eric’s been at a friend’s house all day, he couldn’t have!” Liane attempted to reason with her.

 

Alice stared at her dad, standing up slowly and keeping her hands covered. “Dad…”

 

Richard didn’t know where to start, “What on Earth happened?” He questioned.

 

Elizabeth stepped away from Liane finally, “We don’t know. Ask Butters.” She pointed him to the cop car, where the poor shaken blonde was in the midst of a panic attack. “We were just laughing and having a good time, the next thing we know we’re all waking up on the floor!”

 

Alice looked grim, stepping closer to her father and exposing her bare hand. “All our gloves are gone.” She whispered.

 

Richard stumbled back, his eyes flying open wide. If he wasn’t wide awake a second ago he sure was now. “Christ.” He breathed, backing away from his daughters and heading over to Butters. He looked at the blonde with worry, “Hey son, are you alright?” He switched to his professional voice, kneeling next to the shaking boy.

 

Butters was nursing a cup of coffee, just staring at the liquid as he did his best to stop shaking. “I don’t know, Mr. Horowitz, I really don’t know. We were just talkin’ you see. Talkin’ and eatin’ cookies, and then I woke up in the kitchen and everyone’s on the floor lookin’ like they’re dead.” He shook his head, whimpering. “I checked Alice’s pulse, cuz I remembered CPR class and all that. But Liz woke up and started screamin’, and I tried to touch her hand and she avoided me like I hurt her. B-but I didn’t!” He whined, looking up at Richard pitifully, “Somethin’ spooked her, and at first she was screamin’ at me asking where her gloves were and I started cryin’! Then she stopped screamin’ and went really quiet, and tended to Alice. I don’t know what happened, Mr. Horowitz, honestly! The cookies are gone, too.”

 

Richard pursed his lips, looking at Butters sympathetically and reaching up to pat his head. “No one’s blaming you, Leopold. May I ask…” He paused then, glancing back at Alice. “Did...you touch their hands?”

 

Butters’ face looked confused, then alarmed, back to concern and confusion. “I don’t know why that matters, but I had to check Alice’s pulse and everythin’. It was weird that she was missin’ her gloves and all…”

 

An emotion crossed Richard’s face before it was forced away, and he nodded slowly. “Just...stay here, for now. Alright? No one’s blaming you, okay?”

 

Butters looked worried again, “If my parents find out about this, they’re really gonna be sore.”

 

He nodded, “I won’t tell them if you won’t, Leopold. Just, stay here. You had a hard day.” He patted his shoulder and stood back up, returning to his daughters. Liane had already left, thankfully, and the cops were back inside.

 

“It was Cartman, I just know it.” Elizabeth hissed out, looking quite stricken. “Even our winter gloves are gone, dad! We can’t go back to school like this!”

 

“Kenny’s picking me up in the morning.” Alice said with a frown.

 

Richard sighed, “I’ll go pick up some at the store, just… stay very aware of your situation.” He said sternly, looking at Alice. “I need you to keep an eye on Leopold for a while, honey. Tell me about any changes.”

 

Alice looked back at Butters, eyes wide. “Are you saying…”

 

He nodded, “It’s a possibility, and right now I need to double down on my efforts. Keep him close, and please alert me if he starts behaving oddly.”

 

Elizabeth looked guilty, “I shouldn’t have yelled at him.”

 

“It couldn’t be helped, Liz. You were scared, and rightfully so.” Her father said softly, “If you’re right about your assumption, then I’m going to make sure a break in won’t happen again. Keep a good eye on that boy, Liz. If he took your gloves then he might know.”

 

Elizabeth nodded, glancing back at the house and gritting her teeth. “I’m going to hurt him.” She whispered.

 

“No!” Richard hissed out, “Do not engage this boy any further.” He looked back at Alice. “This prank war of yours ends now, alright? This is now a serious matter and I won’t have any more casualties!”

 

Alice shrunk away, glancing back inside before her eyes widened in alarm. “Don’t eat that!” She cried out, running back into the house before there was a series of screaming curses.

 

Elizabeth sighed, “At least Clyde will be happy.”


	7. Accidents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck it, I'm posting the whole thing.
> 
> STRAP IN, PEOPLE!

The cupcakes were so beautiful, well crafted and delicate. No one knew of what terrors lie in the gooey center. She had to smack Kenny’s hand away from them about fifteen times, despite the blonde knowing what was inside of them. He didn’t seem to care, wanting to try the infamous sabotaged sweets that made her famous.

 

Bebe stared down at the confectioneries once she met up with Alice and Kenny, agreeing with the boy about how delicious they looked. Alice grinned in pride, keeping her winter gloves on and insisting that her hands were cold even though they were indoors.

 

Craig and Token were immediately skeptical of the cupcakes, since they were made by the prankster queen herself. Tweek kept a good distance away from Alice despite her reassurances that he’d never feel her wrath. The target of the cupcakes, Clyde, was oblivious.

 

“Those look damn good.” He praised her, eyeing them hungrily. He ate almost anything, but unlike Cartman he kept himself fit for football.

 

Bebe took the container and shoved it at him, smiling brightly. “I told Alice how you like spicy food so she put some cayenne pepper in the filling.” She lied like a pro.

 

Alice smirked, “I’m good with infusing different flavors.”

 

The other boys held their tongues, Kenny and Craig exchanging secretive grins while Token tried his best to hide his amusement. Everyone was in on the prank, it seemed.

 

Clyde didn’t wait, grabbing one of the cupcakes and smelling it. It had some spice and his mouth watered, biting into the icing ladened top. “Oh sweet, this is good.” He continued, getting down into the cream cheese filling and making noises of enjoyment.

 

Alice and Bebe waited in bated breath as the look on Clyde’s face went from delighted to alarmed. He gasped out and started to pant, “Oh fuck that’s--” He didn’t have time to finish his thought, the one thing on his mind being to drink as much water as possible.

 

It was fun, watching how bleary eyed and red Clyde had gotten, panicking and ripping open his backpack to down some gatorade after the water didn’t work.

 

Bebe smiled with self-satisfaction while the rest of the boys began laughing. Alice, however, was trying her best to keep Kenny from grabbing one for himself.

 

“You’re going to end up dead!” She shouted.

 

“Hey, live every day like it’s the last.” He grinned back at her, “I’ll come back anyway.” He teased.

 

“Just let him have one.” Craig said then, “I want to see what happens.”

 

Tweek twitched nervously, “Oh man, really? W-what if he does die?”

 

Craig shrugs, “His fault.”

 

Kenny finally snatched away one of the cupcakes, eating it before Alice took it away from him.

 

He didn’t die, but now he finally knew how it felt if he sucked Satan’s dick.

 

The shocking part was Clyde wanted the rest of them after a half-hour of pain.

* * *

  


Alice wound up in detention, after a teacher accidentally ate one of the cupcakes and ended up outside shovelling snow into his mouth. It didn’t bother her as much as it bothered her sister, who had to come up with an excuse to take Butters home so she could look after the boy. Thankfully they shared a math class, and a test was coming up soon.

 

She wasn’t the only one in detention, casting her eyes to the side and seeing Craig sitting next to Kenny. Craig seemed to be a veteran of detention, meanwhile Kenny decided to take one for the team to accompany Alice, which was more entertaining than waiting in the parking lot for two hours with nothing to do.

 

Her phone vibrated, and she blinked, looking up quickly at the teacher before setting up her makeshift book wall and taking out her phone.

 

_Send nudes._

 

A sly smile met her lips and she glanced back at Kenny, the boy grinning back at her while Craig caught the exchange and rolled his eyes.

 

Using her gloves wasn’t useful on a smartphone, and she had to take them off to actively text. She missed her white ones, which she had revamped in order to be able to text. Oh well, it wasn’t like anyone was going to touch her hands here. She thought for a moment, grinning slightly.

 

_Dick pics plskthx._

 

She glanced back again, seeing Kenny just look amused, and before he could shove his phone down his pants Crag shoved him in his seat, muttering out “Dude!”

 

Alice let out a strangled giggle, trying to keep a straight face as the teacher looked up at them from his own book.

 

Kenny decided on another tactic, raising his hand. “Hey, teach. I need to go to the bathroom!”

 

Craig snorted, holding back a snide comment.

 

The teacher glared at Kenny, thinking it over for a minute. Kenny was known very well to sneak out of the windows of the bathroom during detentions, but on the other end of the rope he really didn’t want a student pissing his pants because he didn’t allow the boy to unload his bladder. He stood up then, motioning for Kenny to follow. “Just in case, I’m standing outside the stall to make sure you don’t bail.”

 

Kenny looked mildly offended, “You actually think I’d run away...again?”

 

The teacher quirked a brow, silently challenging the boy until Kenny surrendered and finally left for the bathroom.

 

With the teacher gone, Alice finally let out a small laugh. Craig shook his head in mild amusement, “I can’t believe you’re swapping spit with that asshole.”

 

Alice grinned at him, “Try it sometime, he’s good at it.”

 

He flipped her off, not looking amused. “Really, you’re smarter than the girls I usually see him with, what’s the deal?”

 

She turned to him, “The not-so-smarter girls have this belief that he’s that prince charming.” She said casually, “I’m more realistic, as I’m aware of his reputation.” She checked her phone idly, shrugging. “Human behavior is a strange thing, and yes: At first he was trying to get into my pants, and probably still is.”

 

“By the way he tried to shove his phone in his pants, probably.” He said blandly.

 

Alice returned a grin, “Everyone thinks I’m being used, don’t they? Let me give you a secret though.” She leaned in across the gap, folding her arms on his table. “It’s not as serious as it looks.”

 

He quirked a brow, vaguely disinterested in the confession but at the same time the crypticness of it bothered him. “You’re using him, then.” He assumed.

 

She thought about it, putting a finger to her chin. “I’d like to call it that we’re using each other, in a way that we’re both aware that there’s no heavy feelings on either end.”

 

Well that fucking made sense. “Just fucking call it friends-with-benefits, Christ!”

 

“Well that implies that there’s benefits.” She said with a smirk, “I’m not easy, you know.”

 

“Says the chick who’s sticking her tongue down his mouth.”

 

Alice laughed then, finally pushing back, “Sex and kissing are two very different things.” She said in finality, checking her phone when it vibrated and holding back a giggle at the dick pic. She turned back to her table then, waiting for the teacher and Kenny to return.

 

Kenny did, grinning from ear to ear, “Hoo boy that was a long shit!” He said aloud, stopping in front of Alice’s table and bending over to whisper in her ear, his hand falling over hers. “Jerking off when the teacher’s just outside the stall is a great talent, dear.” He snickered then, returning to his seat.

 

Alice didn’t have time to laugh, realizing her hand was bare when he touched it.

* * *

  


Kyle found himself in front of the Horowitz’s door, looking frustrated. According to Alice, they had a break-in and Elizabeth assumed it was all Cartman’s doing, however the sister refused to go into detail on what had happened. Alice wasn’t in the parking lot after classes, and Elizabeth seemed to be avoiding his texts. He didn’t like when she closed up so suddenly after such a horrific event, and the only detail he was able to obtain was from Butters, who was there at the time and mentioned them being drugged.

 

He considered banging down Cartman’s door to demand some answers and question why he was terrorizing the twins, but the crapass car he drove wasn’t in the driveway, telling him that Cartman was somewhere else. Probably hanging out with Clyde or bugging Stan.

 

Elizabeth didn’t look like herself, upon opening the door he noticed that she began to resemble her father in terms of sleep deprivation. She looked at him for a moment, as if assessing why he was there, before leaving the door and returning to the couch. “It’s only Kyle.” She said to someone, that person being Butters, who was sitting on the floor with a propped up Calculus book.

 

“H-hey, Kyle!” Butters tried to look happy, but it seemed that he was still a pile of nerves.

 

Elizabeth sat beside him on the couch, “Close the door please, it’s cold.” She looked off, like something was bothering her. He could see that her hands were haphazardly bandaged.

 

Kyle shut the door quickly, “What happened to your hands?” He asked immediately.

 

Elizabeth glanced down at them, smiling slightly and tucking them into her sleeves of her cardigan, “Nothing.”

 

“Alice told me about the break in, Liz.” Kyle said, stepping closer. “It wasn’t the first time it happened either, she says you pointed it out to Cartman both times.”

 

Elizabeth was too calm about it, shaking her head lightly as if there wasn’t a problem. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” She said reassuringly.

 

“But Liz,” Butters spoke up. “H-he messed with my cookies--”

 

“Would you like some water, Kyle?” She spoke up above Butters’ words, standing back up. “I also have orange juice and coke.”

 

Kyle kept an eye on her hands, how she wrung them absentmindedly, anxious. He wordlessly followed her to the kitchen, away from the nervous blonde.

 

“I’m not thirsty.” Kyle began as she opened the door to the fridge.

 

Elizabeth managed to quirk her lips up, a fake smile he recognized from the Sunday dinner. “I am.” She commented, getting out a water jug with a filter. She busied herself with grabbing a glass, until Kyle quickly grabbed for her hand.

 

Elizabeth reacted quickly, pulling away as if his own hands were fire, the glass slipping from her grasp and letting out a resounding smash when it hit the floor. “Damnit!” Elizabeth hissed out, ignoring the fact that she reacted so strongly to being touched, kneeling down quickly to pick up the shards.

 

Kyle panicked, why was she reacting like this? He knelt down just as she cut herself on some glass, “Will you just stop?” He almost shouted, smacking the glass out of her palm and grabbing her right hand. The bandage was ripped and there was a faint trickle of blood. “Jesus, Liz, you’re a wreck.” He hissed out.

 

Elizabeth tried again to withdraw her hands from his, “Kyle, _stop_.” She warned, standing back up and pulling away, only to meet with his own gentle but firm grip as he pulled her away and down the hall. “Kyle, can you just--”

 

“You’re not acting right, Liz. Stop avoiding the subject, stop acting like I’m going to hurt you!” He let go to rummage her bathroom cabinet, pulling out alcohol and bandages. “I don’t really know what happened to your hands but you’re acting like--”

 

Elizabeth glared at him slightly and grabbed for the alcohol with her good hand. “It’s personal, alright? I can handle this myself, Kyle.”

 

He reached to take her hand again, watching her freeze up and letting his eyes linger on her wrist. “Liz, are you cutting yourself?”

 

Elizabeth stared at him incredulously, “What the fuck, Kyle? Why are you--”

 

Kyle shook his head, “It explains a lot. I never see your hands. It’s not a religious thing, I did research. There’s no sect of Judaism that does that.”

 

Elizabeth really glared at him now, “That means I’m cutting myself? What about Alice, Kyle? What’s her excuse? Is she cutting herself as well?”

 

“Then prove it!” He shouted, “Liz, you’re getting worse. The break-ins are affecting you, can’t you see I’m fucking worried for your health?” He set down the bottle of alcohol and reached for her good hand, “Trust me, please!”

 

Elizabeth stilled again, “I--Kyle, this isn’t about trust--” She pulled her hand back again, taking a breath and going about undoing the bandages around her hand, “There’s no reason I should be cutting myself, Kyle. This…” She shakily went about undoing the bandages on her cut hand, wincing when something irritated the cut. Before she could even object, Kyle took it to inspect the cut, finding a piece of glass was inside.

 

“Where’s your tweezers?” He questioned, watching her turn and reach for them on a shelf before wordlessly handing them to him. She looked grim, like something horrible happened and a secret was lying behind her eyes. He looked slightly bothered by that, but shoved it out of his head before going about treating her wound.

 

It was an uncomfortable silence while he disinfected and patched her hand up, soon studying both hands and sighing in relief that they had no such scars. He was about to let go until the sound of the door slamming caused her eyes to open wide, and she shoved him out of the way to run back out to the living room.

 

Elizabeth was panicking, “Leopold?” She called out, quickly looking at the spot he was in and shaking her head, opening the door quickly and stepping out to see no one. “Damnit…” She hissed out, turning back and stopping suddenly at the sight of Kyle, staring at her confusedly.

 

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” He asked.

 

Elizabeth slowly shut the door behind her, shaking her head and laughing hesitantly. “You wouldn’t believe me…”

 

He cracked a challenging smile, “Try me.”

 

* * *

  
  


_I’m with Kenny._

 

It was something about that text that had him storming out of the Horowitz’s house. He couldn’t really stand that she was out there, with Kenny, after having promised him earlier that day that she’d play video games with him after school.

 

He knew what was happening as soon as he gotten her reply, he was in desperate need of his medication. The doctor always warned him about _those_ times when he would need that medication, and right now he was literally throwing that advice out the window with all the cautionary tales his mother lectured him about if he dared to miss that medication.

 

Butters almost slammed open the front door, his parents had been gone for a while, according to the lack of yelling about his behavior. He couldn’t find any will to care about it if they were home anyway. It was better for him that they weren’t in sight. As when Butters entered his room, Professor Chaos had left it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say Clyde has a high capsaicin tolerance, it sounds natural for this dude.


	8. Affliction

The back of Kenny’s pickup was comfortable, given that he had installed a mattress in the back. He would call it his little mobile love shack, a tiny hotel room when he put the roof on. The stale smell of his little love shack did little for the mood, but that’s when he hung up some cheap air fresheners, the ones that looked like trees.

 

It was faint, the smell of cinnamon. Alice enjoyed how cozy it was, as it was a perfect fit for two people and their background was anywhere the truck could be taken to. Right now the background was Stark’s Pond, which was careful planning on Kenny’s part. It was cold enough for a snuggle.

 

Alice didn’t really feel like snuggling, distracted by her own hands and still thinking about how Kenny had direct contact with them. If she were Elizabeth, she’d be dragging him home and demanding to put him on watch, like how she was instructed to do with Butters. She couldn’t really imagine that Kenny would believe her if she told him about the curse, because… it was completely absurd.

 

Kenny knew something was bothering her, and after a while he stopped attempting to seduce her unsuccessfully. She was a thinker, and if something bothered her, she would at least think about it for hours on end. He liked to offset that attitude and help her by living in the moment, and put thinking aside, because if he had time to think then he’d be locked inside of his room driving himself insane. Because there was a lot to think about, and he learned quickly that life didn’t have that much time for such things.

 

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, waving his hand in front of her face, “If you stare at your hands too hard they’re gonna fall off.”

 

That elicited a small laugh from Alice, “One can hope.” She murmured.

 

He quirked a brow, and she shifted in his arms nervously, looking past him and to the window, “Hey,” She began, “I have a purely hypothetical question, nothing alarming, just out of curiosity.”

 

“Does it involve strawberry lube? Because that’s in the glovebox.” He was trying to lighten the mood, but it didn’t work. She looked at him seriously, adjusting her position so that she was sitting across from him. “What’s going on?” He fell into seriousness then, frowning slightly.

 

“Let’s say…” She thought about her words carefully, “Say you were born with something that’s out of your control, and it was something that had to be kept secret.”

 

Kenny tilted his head, feeling the familiarity of the words. “Yes?”

 

She motioned her hands as she talked, “It’s a curse, something that was brought about from...possibly a cult.” She paid attention to his expression, noticing the brief flicker of emotion in his face.

 

He had to wonder when his last death was, nodding slowly. “Go on.”

 

Alice took a breath, “So let’s say this curse seems to happen when you touch people directly with your hands, right?” She took off her glove.

 

Alright, now he was lost.

 

“That touch, just a brush of skin, can inflict someone with one of the seven deadly sins.” She finished then, flexing her fingers. “Now hypothetically, if I told you that I had that very curse, and now somehow you have it by touching my hand, how would you react?” She stopped then, watching him.

 

It was a long, pregnant silence that followed. Alice seemed to be holding her breath, while Kenny’s eyes glanced from her face and back to her exposed hand. For what seemed like forever, the silence was finally broken by a hesitant laugh, his unreadable face cracking into a small grin as the laughs became more constant.

 

Alice didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but the way her friend looked so amused at this question, she started to assume that she just dropped a bomb. She wasn’t really pleased, even though the reaction was what she expected from a visibly sane human being.

 

Oh, that grin was very hard to banish from his face, but given what she just said, and how this hypothetical question wasn’t completely vague and carried so many details. This wasn’t a hypothetical question at all, and he wondered if he could match the cards she just shown him.

 

“It’s not as crazy as...let’s say, not being able to actually die.” He countered.

 

Was he being serious or was he making fun of her? Alice quirked a brow at the response, really tempted to just blurt out ‘prove it’ but slightly afraid that he’d run out to leap into the pond so he could drown himself right then and there. She thought about it, and Kenny could see that she was thinking again, trying to carefully dissect the counter-offer.

 

This would take days, if he didn’t stop her.

 

“I’m assuming that you’re being serious about the curse, Alice.” He broke into that thought process quickly and shut it down, finally gathering her full attention. “I’m just showing mine since you’ve shown me yours.” He said quickly, waggling his eyebrows for affect.

 

“Well…” She had no reason not to believe him, given her own situation. “Shit, that must really...suck.” She caught herself, “Not that it doesn’t suck not to die, but I mean, I can think of so many complications!” Her eyes went wide then, threatening to think about it.

 

“You’re pretty much on point.” He admitted, “Think about it this way: Death has a boner for taking me out of the game frequently over the course of seventeen years and no one fucking remembers when it actually happens.” The truth sounded more bitter than how he intended it to come out, and he knew he still wasn’t used to it.

 

Alice’s expression softened then, but it wasn’t really a look of pity. It was....sympathy? He never seen anyone actually sympathize with him, but then he never met anyone who had it as bad as he did.

 

“I think I’ve fucked you over.” She says hesitantly, “Whatever I gave you...it could be pretty bad.” She looked bothered at that, “My mom died because someone touched her hands, and they got inflicted with Wrath...it was pretty bad, according to my dad. It’s like an STD, without the S part.”

 

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, even though it was not as humorous as it should be. “Fuck, let’s hope for something good, then.”

 

“None of them are good.” She grimaced, “You’re Catholic, right? You should know them pretty well.”

 

He shrugged, “I’m not a _good_ Catholic, if that’s what you’re implying.” He ran over them in his head, vaguely remembering most of them. “Well, lust sounds like a good option.” He tried to be reassuring.

 

That earned a laugh, and she hit him in the forearm. “God, I might as well just shoot you….” Silence overtook her then, her eyes widening slightly as if she just discovered a new experiment. A thoughtful grin slowly overtook her amusement, “You can’t die, right?”

 

He quirked a brow, watching her considering possibilities that were unknown to him. “You’re starting to look scary, you know.”

 

“No, no, just hear me out.” She held up a finger, as if trying to stop his own brain function. “This curse will eventually drive you insane until you kill me and die, but what if you died before it consumed you?” The words were carefully thought out, logic overrunning her thoughts.

 

He nodded slowly, “I usually come back without my wounds, or anything…” He cleared his throat then, “like viruses...sexually transmitted…” He muttered, waiting for her expression to change, but it never registered. She was in full science experiment mode.

 

“Are you positive that you can’t die?” She questioned again. “I need to be sure, I mean...if you were just shitting me so you can feel special--”

 

“Christ!” Kenny shoved her, “I spill my heart out to you and you judge the validity!” He feigned his hurt, “Lay it on me, babe. Just tell me what to do.”

 

Alice hesitated, was she really suggesting he get killed? It was a purely scientific and logical answer to this predicament, but she never really realized how morbid it sounded. “I shouldn’t be asking you this.” She breathed out. “Kenny, I can’t imagine not being able to die, but to just have it happen over and over--it doesn’t really sound fun.”

 

“It isn’t.” He said seriously. “After a while, it’s very annoying, and it fucking hurts every goddamn time.” Kenny paused then, “You have a good point, despite everything, and if it means I won’t start going crazy on you…”

 

Alice tried a reassuring smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “If it works, then, at least one life is saved.” She still had Butters to worry about, and he didn’t have a good opportunity to expunge the curse like Kenny had. Her father was still looking for a cure…

 

She hated to imagine what would eventually consume Butters.

 

Her phone began to ring, a happy little tone that she assigned to a certain person. She felt her heart jump, because it was too coincidental. She pulled out her phone and held it to her ear, answering. “H-hey Buttercup--”

 

“H-hey Alice,” The voice almost sounded mocking? Alice shook her head and put that thought aside. “You said you were going to spend time with me today.”

 

The guilt flickered in her eyes, and she frowned slightly. “Oh, I had detention and then something happened with Kenny, I’ll make it up to you though.”

 

“Well, shucks, where are you now?” He asked then, his voice sounded strange, almost flat.

 

She glanced over at Kenny and thought quickly, “I’m at Tweak Bros.”

 

Kenny looked out of the truck as she said it, hearing a scratching noise on the side of the truck. He crawled over to the door and swung his legs to the side to get out.

 

Alice heard a tinny scratching sound, and Butters’ voice sounded disappointed. “Don’t lie, Alice.”

 

**BANG.**

 

The sound had her almost smacking her head on the roof of the truck, screaming ever so slightly and almost dropping the phone. She could instantly see birds flying away as if they were startled. “Kenny?” She called out, getting to her knees to crawl out of the truck.

 

When she turned the corner bile was clearly a present taste in her mouth, her knees buckling quickly after her legs went weak at the sight. The blood was running quickly, pooling the snow and spreading under his body, a single gunshot wound marring his head. Alice finally lost it, vomiting where she sat because while they talked about his death she’d never wanted to be present for it.

 

“He deserved it, actually.”

 

The voice was cold, without any emotion behind it. It wasn’t his voice, it was someone else’s voice, the voice of someone who shot people before and Alice had to force herself to look up, coming face to face with someone that looked so similar to Butters, but carried nothing of Butters’ personality. Alice shook her head, quickly realizing why this wasn’t Butters at all. The boy who looked down at Kenny’s body with nothing more than disgust while he tucked the phone back into his pocket.

 

“Butters--Leo--” Alice breathed out, falling back and inching herself further away. “Did Liz tell you anything important earlier?” She tried to keep a calm tone, despite the shakiness of her voice. Keep perfect eye contact, don’t show fear, try to remain calm as possible. Breathe.

 

Butters quirked a brow at her, finally meeting her gaze, “Oh, not really, but then she was too busy with Broflovski to actually care.” He shrugged then, “I’m sure we can talk about this back at my place, Alice.”

 

What sin was this? What sin? Clearly he shot Kenny. Was this Wrath? She couldn’t imagine why he’d shoot Kenny in cold blood. “What about Kenny?” She whispered.

 

The question earned her a scathing glare, “Kenny had his time, now it’s my turn.” His lips curved up into a smile then, motioning the gun in his hand towards her frame, “Come on, we have a date.” His voice sounded...gleeful?

 

Alice swallowed thickly, still tasting bile.

 

Jealousy.


	9. Anxiety

Kyle had the urge to vomit, and he could barely taste the bile.

 

Elizabeth watched him dry heave, having trouble keeping himself together. She didn’t really show any emotion in his reaction, keeping up the best poker face considering everything she told him.

 

He managed to get himself into the bathroom before it all went asunder, throwing his earlier meal into the toilet bowl with no finesse. He hugged the toilet for about five minutes, rethinking everything that his friend just told him and trying to find a more decent and less disgusting way to react. So far he wasn’t doing well.

 

By the time he returned to her room, Elizabeth was reading. He felt pissed off immediately. She just told him that he could have a fucking sin that could destroy them both and end his life and she was fucking reading?

 

The logical part of his brain, the mostly ninety percent logical part, was considering the possibilities that this was actually a lie. However, that frighteningly low ten percent, the same ten percent that had seen horrendous things - mostly horrendous - told him that this was another to add to the list. Besides, she had no reason to lie. What was to gain from it?

 

He still felt pissed, the annoyance radiating off of him while he tried his hardest not to yell at her.

 

Elizabeth could feel it, calmly setting her book down and finally glancing at him. “Are you done?”

 

He breathed in deeply, “I’m not sure.”

 

“Take all the time you need to come to terms with it.” She said in a monotone, “It’s not like you have a clock over your head.” The last part was obviously dripping in sarcasm.

 

“You could have, well you know, actually said something before it happened!” He really didn’t want to fight.

 

Elizabeth stood up then, finally throwing the book halfway across the room, seeming like she was holding in her own anger. “Do you really fucking think that would have worked? ‘Oh don’t touch me Kyle, I might curse you with something fucking horrible so keep your distance’ doesn’t really spill off the tongue like I want it to. Do you know what the word ‘stop’ means? You were thinking I was fucking cutting myself, you douchenozzle!”

 

Honestly, they could scream at each other all night, because that’s how shot their nerves were at the moment. While it felt good to shout at one-another, it didn’t really work in terms of actually doing something about the problem. It was better than panicking, it was better than crying and it was way better than worrying about it. With such convoluted logic it was easier to just scream at each other for another hour, pulling anything out for mediocre arguments because that’s how hot-heads worked.

 

They didn’t have to worry about an audience, either, as Richard was working an all-nighter at Hell's Pass, and Alice was still with Kenny. By the time their aggression was winding down the windows were displaying the cold autumn night sky.

 

They ended up out in the backyard, cooling off in the cold, sharing a cigarette. It was one of Richard’s packs of cigs that he hid in specific spots around the house despite Elizabeth knowing better and confiscating each and every one. She wasn’t a habitual smoker until the move to South Park and when one Eric Cartman started making their lives a living hell. Kyle wasn’t a smoker either, but given his current situation, he wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity.

 

“So what are we gonna do?” He asked then, his breath visible to the air.

 

Elizabeth blew out some smoke, handing the cig over to him and thinking about it. “I’m going to have to keep a watch on you, first of all. I need to know when things start to change.”

 

He nodded, “I could always tell my mom I’m at Stan’s.” He said it like it was a good plan, as if Stan wouldn’t start asking questions. But then, Stan owed him some favors when it came to Wendy, after that one time.

 

Elizabeth was hugging herself, glad that the cold felt numbing. “Dad is pretty much the head researcher, but I know enough just in case he’s out of commission.” She said then, “We don’t have a definite solution, but some theories that might work.”

 

He tossed the sad looking stump on the ground, stomping it with his boot. “I suppose…” Somehow he wasn’t as enthused to fill the silence with words, looking at her nervously and watching her finally turn away and head back inside. It was an awkward silence as he followed, realizing that she was heading for the basement door.

 

Elizabeth opened the door and switched the lights on, staring at everything for a moment before sighing and stepping down the stairs. “There’s a futon in the corner, Alice uses it sometimes, you can stay in here.” She made her way to the nice looking futon, with a blanket haphazardly draped on the cushion.

 

Kyle didn’t follow, staring down at the entire room and taking in the massive computer collection. He opened his mouth but closed it again, nodding dumbly and stepping further down into the room. From the look of all the knickknacks, the small action figures on the tables, he guessed it was Alice’s domain. It was quite impressive, but he really couldn’t think of words to express it.

 

Elizabeth watched him quietly, shrugging lightly and moving to pull out the futon frame so it laid as a bed. She had a plan in her head, a good one that involved a means of escape if she needed it, depending on what would eventually infect him.

 

When he finally stepped up to the bed he realized just how serious this was, the reaction from earlier taking on a new form of nervous anxiety. He felt like he had to sit down, or maybe lie down. Anything but being upright, or he might just collapse in a heap of nerves. He tried so hard not to think about the story he was told, how her mother had died from a simple accident. Because if he thought about it and dwelled upon it then it would get even more real and he’d break into tears and curl up like a child.

 

Elizabeth was still keeping a good poker face, either that or she just didn’t have any sympathy at all. She seemed to hold in her own emotions better than anyone, but something was bugging him. It reminded him of when he first met her, how she became so closed off and avoided him at every turn. He stared at her anxiously, not really feeling like being left alone right now. Now, when everything was turning to shit.

 

“Make yourself at home.” She finally said to him, turning away and intending on leaving. She couldn’t stay down here.

 

“Wait--” He reached for her hand but stopped himself, “Please, don’t leave. I really don’t want to be alone right now.” His voice sounded desperate, pitiful.

 

Elizabeth closed her eyes and let out a sigh, steeling herself and turning back. He made room on the futon for her and she just stared at the empty spot, eventually moving to sit next to him and adjust herself so that they were laying side by side, staring at the ceiling in silence.

 

At least he wasn’t talking, she told herself, at least he wasn’t trying to make conversation. She put her hands at her sides and sighed again, thinking about her plan. She just had to wait until he fell asleep, and then she would leave and lock the door. It sounded more simple than it was, because the biggest obstacle was sleep.

 

Kyle’s thoughts were running fifteen thousand miles per hour, his hands twitching uncomfortably. The silence wasn’t helping his worries, and his right hand fell to his side, fingers coming into contact with her left hand and automatically threading through them like they were a lifeline. He needed grounding.

 

She seemed to tense up once he did that, casting her eyes to the side to look at him. “Kyle--” Her voice was stern.

 

“There’s no harm in it…” He commented softly, “Just...please.”

 

She couldn’t handle this, pulling her hands away from his reluctant grasp and sitting up. “Kyle…”

 

Alarm washed through him, and he sat up along with her, “Liz, it’s--not like touching you will curse me more.” The logic in itself was weak, it was a weak reason for his actions. She stared at him steadily, inwardly considering her choices and keeping quiet.

 

Kyle had to look away from her stare, only to glance back and think about an entirely new topic, because he needed a distraction. He realized that her eyes weren’t the same green as his own, almost olive green, darker than his emerald. He never noticed that before. Maybe it was the fact that they were alone together, or maybe he was losing it, and he just hoped he wasn’t losing it.

 

“Hey,” He said then, finally looking back at her. “Do you think that, maybe my mom’s got a point?”

 

Elizabeth managed to look confused at his words, quirking a brow. “What?”

 

“I mean, you’re smart. You’re really smart, and you’re pretty, and very creative and your violin music is really….great.” He tried to give her a smile. “We have a lot in common, you know.”

 

“Kyle, do you realize what you’re saying?” Elizabeth’s confusion retreated and returned her unreadable poker face. “I really don’t think--”

 

She swore her heart stopped, her eyebrows disappearing into her bangs when his lips met hers. It lasted for a second, and it tasted like desperation and ashes. She immediately shoved him back and moved away from the futon. “Kyle!” She shouted.

 

“Liz--”

 

“You’re panicking, Kyle.” She said harshly, “You’re not in your right mind right now, okay? You’re trying to see something out of nothing.” She continued to step away, realizing that she needed to leave.

 

“Liz, wait.” Kyle was moving after her, realizing that she was leaving and remembering the last time she turned her back on him. His brows furrowed and he got up, marching after her before she got to the steps and grabbing her arm. “Liz will you just--”

 

“Kyle!” She finally glared at him, stopping. “I’m not going to pretend that kiss meant anything.”

 

“Okay, fine, given the situation it was a terrible decision, but running away instead of talking about it doesn’t really work either.”

 

Elizabeth tried to pull away. “I’m not running, Kyle. I’m removing myself from the situation.”

 

“Bullshit!” He spat, “This is what you do best, Liz. You run away like a fucking coward. You avoid what you don’t want to deal with, because you’re too afraid to actually face the truth. You did this once before, remember? For three fucking weeks, Liz. Every time you saw me, you’d turn around and retreat. I had to eventually track down your sister and learn about your schedule.”

 

Elizabeth tensed up. “I’m not avoiding anything, Kyle.”

 

He shook his head, “Liz, remember that hour we spent just yelling at each other? That was the first fucking time you didn’t avoid me. You let yourself go. I wanted to kiss you then but I was so fucking afraid you’d actually start hitting me instead.”

 

Again Elizabeth tried to leave, but his grip became firm. Now that he mentioned it, the urge to hit him sounded really good. She stared at the hand on her arm, “This isn’t the time to start confessing your feelings, you know.”

 

Kyle tried to smile, “Facing something like death makes you do weird shit, Liz.” He finally let go of her then, “Just...talk to me.”

 

She glanced back at the door, then at him. “Talk.” She repeated, sighing. “Fine, let’s talk.”

 

Talking was innocent enough, was it?

* * *

  
  


The conversation continued through the night, and only stopped when Elizabeth realized it was about Six AM and they had school in two hours. The thought of going to school wasn’t one either of them wanted to address, but Kyle wasn’t showing signs of his curse yet. Elizabeth had to keep an eye on him, and both of them skipping school together would only raise suspicion. Alice had yet to come home, and Kyle suggested that she and Kenny were spending the night. Knowing Kenny, it was a possibility, and Elizabeth was ready to lecture her sister upon arriving at school.

 

Elizabeth didn’t really like attending school without her gloves, and it was clear that she was uncomfortable having to only wear the knit ones that her father bought at the drug store. Anything could happen between the span of now and the day when the replacement gloves were to come in. When Kyle insisted on holding her hand she refused, even if his reasoning behind it was logical.

 

They exited her car in relief that the parking lot was empty of students, but once they stepped inside Elizabeth could feel all eyes on her. There were hushed whispers and murmurs, and she glanced at Kyle, his uneasiness matching hers while they stepped towards Stan and Wendy.

 

“What’s going on?” Kyle was the first to speak, seeing his friend look almost sick.

 

“Dude.” Stan shook his head, leaning on Wendy as she hugged him. “They found Kenny at Stark’s Pond, shot in the head.”

 

Elizabeth’s head snapped up, “W-What?”

 

Wendy looked grim, “The body was cold and it looked like a homicide, but that isn’t all.” She looked at Elizabeth sadly, “They also found your sister’s phone next to his body, but she’s missing.”

 

Stan perked his head up, “Didn’t anyone come to the house?” He asked her, “The police was there--Cartman told me so.”

 

Elizabeth and Kyle exchanged glances, dread forming on their faces. They were in the basement, a soundproof room. Neither of them heard a thing. Elizabeth suddenly remembered Butters, looking around quickly. “Where’s Leopold?” She asked suddenly.

 

Wendy bit her lip in thought. “He hadn’t arrived yet.”

 

Elizabeth made a sound, turning back towards the doors but Kyle was immediately at her side and holding her arm. “What are you doing?” His voice was cracking.

 

“I can’t be here!” Elizabeth cried out, “Alice is missing and Kenny is dead, Leopold is involved!” Her eyes were wide, trying yet again to get away from his grasp.

 

Stan looked confused, then alarmed. “Liz, Liz! What’s going on?”

 

“It’s nothing, Stan.” Kyle hated to say it, but he needed to. He let himself be dragged outside, and Elizabeth found herself hyperventilating. She was having a panic attack, Christ. “Hey--Liz!” Kyle tried to steady her, but she immediately shoved herself away, not aware that Stan and Wendy had followed them.

 

“Kyle, what’s going on?” Wendy questioned.

 

“Liz!” Stan almost shouted.

 

“I can’t stay here!” Liz shouted now, stumbling back to her car and holding onto the door, trying to steady her swimming vision. “Alice--”

 

Kyle cried out, grabbing at Elizabeth just in time as she collapsed, “Liz, Jesus Christ!”

 

Wendy shoved Stan over to them. “I’m getting the nurse.” She said quickly, turning away.

 

“No!” Kyle’s voice stopped her, “Wendy--Wendy, come help us. Stan, you get in the car. Wendy, get in the back with Liz, I’ll drive.” He dug into Elizabeth’s pockets for her keys, grabbing them as he handed his friend over to Stan.

 

Elizabeth could hear Kyle’s voice, but it sounded miles away. The feeling of being carried was weird, but she couldn’t do anything to stop it. All she could think about was Alice and Butters and Kenny, and the horrible feeling that everything was going to shit.


	10. Unfortunate Cure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a long one.
> 
> Warning: graphic violence.

She woke up in her own bed.

 

Elizabeth shot up into sitting position, whimpering out her sister’s name.

 

“Hold it!” Wendy took a hold of her before she could get out of bed, easing her back down and sighing. “You’re not in any shape to stand, Liz.”

 

Elizabeth turned her head to look at Wendy wearily, “Where’s Kyle?”

 

She pursed her lips together, “Down in the basement with Stan, showing him the journals.”

 

The brunette stared at Wendy silently for a moment, the question on her tongue forming but never making it past her lips.

 

Wendy didn’t seem entirely shocked about everything, watching her friend’s sister evenly and smiling kindly. “It’s a lot to take in, honestly, but Kyle put fourth a convincing argument.” She said softly, motioning to Elizabeth’s still covered hands.

 

She hid them under the sheets with a newfound nervousness, swallowing and looking away. “Imagine growing up knowing this shit, and having to adjust to not being able to touch anyone.” She breathed out, “I need to leave.” She said then.

 

“I know.” Wendy responded, still sitting calmly. “Butters is unstable enough with his disability, and I’m fearing that the curse would just amplify it.”

 

Elizabeth frowned, “Disability?”

 

“Multiple personality disorder.” Wendy said factually, “His home life isn’t a good one…”

 

The brunette groaned, holding her head in her hands.

 

“Is she awake?” Kyle knocked on the closed door, nudging it open to peer in and see Elizabeth doing her best not to break down. “Hey,” He tried to smile.

 

Wendy looked over at him, finally standing. “Where’s Stan?”

 

Kyle’s smile was short lived, “He’s trying to process everything, in the living room.” He added quickly, taking over for Wendy while the girl decided to leave to care for her boyfriend. Kyle took Wendy’s place at the chair next to the bed, watching Elizabeth quietly.

 

“Why aren’t we looking for her right now?” Elizabeth sounded exhausted.

 

Kyle sighed, “You just had an episode, Liz.”

 

“You didn’t have to bring me back here!” She snapped, glaring at him. “We should still be trying to find her!”

 

“The police are already looking for Butters, and wherever they find him, they’re going to find Alice.” He sounded far too calm, as if it was forced. “You need to slow down before you kill yourself.”

 

“I rather kill myself saving my sister than have her be killed by doing nothing!” She almost screamed, breathing heavily and breaking out into a sob. Kyle sighed again and leaned forward to hug her as she wailed, finally releasing the frustration and crying enough to dampen his sleeve.

 

“Alice would know what to do…” She finally said as she leaned her forehead on his chest. “She knows how to hack into servers, she would track down his phone…”

 

Kyle looked down at her, combing his fingers through her hair. “My brother knows how to do that.”

 

She stilled, her head gradually lifting so their eyes met, green for green. “Is he willing to skip school?” She questioned.

 

Kyle tried not to laugh, the grin pulling at his cheeks. “I’ll go pick him up, do you have the utilities he needs?”

 

Elizabeth finally smiled, “Alice’s computer system.”

* * *

  
  


Alice was doing her best to remain calm, given her circumstances. She lost track of how long she’s been inside the room, as there were no windows or clocks, just a haphazard array of items surrounding her, a small visible camera in the corner, and a chair in the middle that she was currently tied to. The zip ties were digging into her wrists, and the more she moved her hands the more she could feel the sting of the cuts. Butters had been in and out of the room, and his condition was getting worse every time she saw him. He started engaging her in friendly conversation at the start, hoping to charm her, but he’d then leave when she would act too calm. He then came back a tad bit more erratic, addressing himself in third person and calling himself Chaos. He’d leave again, and come back to feed her, assuming his own personality again. She asked him to let her go and he started reacting badly, yelling about Kenny and leaving again only to come back as Chaos.

 

Keeping calm was her only defense, as all she had on her side was time. If she kept calm, he wouldn’t react too badly, it was the best way to handle such a situation, even though she was nervous and afraid for her own life. She trusted Kenny, she knew he’d come back and save her. What were supernatural boyfriends for?

 

Butters came back in, looking worse than before. He stared at her from the doorway for a moment, his eye twitching just slightly before he mumbled and shook his head. “Why aren’t you crying?” He asked then.

 

Alice looked past him, because looking at him was painful to her, because she didn’t want to see how the curse was ruining him. The last time she looked at him one of his eyes was an unnatural green color, the marking of the curse that he was under. She couldn’t place why the other eye was still blue.

 

“You should be crying. You should be afraid, panicked, shaking! Alice, why are you doing this to me?” He sounded pitiful, almost pained. The curse was twisting her cute little friend into something awful. “Jesus Christ, Alice, you’re driving me crazy!” He laughed brokenly, shaking his head and slowly stepping closer. “Why won’t you look at me?” He whined, pouting. He tried to direct her eyes to him but they kept staring past him, and after hours of it the action was angering him. Why wouldn’t she look at him? She’d look at Kenny forever, but not him.

 

“I am afraid, Butters.” Alice said softly, smiling sadly. “I’m just….”

 

Butters kicked something, “Why won’t you look at me?” He asked again. “Put your eyes on me, Alice! I’m the only one here!”

 

She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes, looking away from him. She didn’t see the face he made, or how he shook and finally left again, slamming the door behind him. She thought he was gone for another hour, but he came back only seconds later. She caught the light reflecting off of something and finally glanced over just in time to see the scalpel in his hand. He wasn’t at the door anymore, he was right in front of her.

 

“If you won’t look at me then you don’t get to look at anything.” He said simply, and Alice’s face looked terrified right before he jammed the scalpel into her right eye, eliciting painful cries as Butters diligently worked on removing the eye.

 

She wasn’t calm anymore, she wasn’t nearly calm anymore. She was in tears, she was screaming so loudly that her voice became hoarse, all she knew was that pain was now swallowing up her head, and from what she could see out of her watery left eye was Butters’ manic face as he sliced up the right side.

 

Butters drank the screams and the tears, because they were now finally directed towards him. Him and him alone. If she couldn’t see then she’d have to rely on him alone, it was a brilliant plan. He’d be her eyes, he’d be her everything!

 

“BUTTERS!”

 

The scalpel fell from his hand, clattering onto the cement floor as the familiar voice thundered through his person. He could hear someone pounding on the door repeatedly, trying to break it down. “K-Kenny?”

 

The pain was overwhelming Alice, but she was now crying for a different reason, because when Butters bent down to lift up the scalpel, Kenny slammed himself into the room, breathing heavily and fixing his eyes on Alice’s half-bloodied face. Rage flashed in Kenny’s eyes and he lunged at Butters, “I’LL KILL YOU!”

 

Alice screamed, almost being knocked over in the scuffle, “Kenny no!” She cried out, trying to see what was going on but it was out of her line of sight. “Kenny, he’s possessed by Jealousy!” She didn’t know if he could hear her, moving her wrists again and attempting to endure the pain as she tried to get out of them.

 

Kenny was the better fighter, throwing punches while Butters tried to play dirty, using his teeth and kicking him when Kenny was down, but Kenny ended up on top of the petite blonde, his hands around the others wrists. “Tell me what to do!” He shouted, “Alice!”

 

“Kindness!” Alice cried out, “Combat the Jealousy with Kindness!” She was losing blood, it was clear. Her vision was swimming. “It’s the one theory that has merit, combating sins with virtues!”

 

Kenny grunted, keeping Butters down as the smaller tried desperately to throw him off. He didn’t get a chance to test any sort of theory when the police busted into the room with their guns poised at the ready.

 

Alice was already unconscious.

 

“No! No, no, no, no, no!” Kenny let go of Butters quickly, crawling over to the chair and trying to shake Alice back into reality. “Alice!” He eyed all the blood, dripping from her face and wrists. “Oh god, no! Not now!” He tried to undo the ties but EMTs quickly shoved him aside. He didn’t see the cops cuffing Butters or hear his voice, because the technicians were already spreading Alice out over the floor after undoing her restraints.

 

“She’s going into shock.” One of them said, paying Kenny no mind as they started CPR on her. One of the cops took a hold of Kenny’s shoulder to keep him from lunging over there, because he was doing his damnedest to stay still. Everything else seemed to stop around him, time itself was standing still the longer he watched them pump her chest. He let out a choked sob when one of them called for a defibrillator, her heart apparently having stopped.

 

“Alice!” His voice sounded miles away, and suddenly he realized that he was fighting against the man holding him back, screaming her name over again as they shocked her system. He knew what death looked like, he knew everything about it. He never thought he’d have to see it happen to someone else, someone that wasn’t himself. Because to others, it was a one-time deal. It was the end of the line.

 

They stopped, they stopped and Kenny was ripping himself from the cop and taking over, pounding on her chest with what he knew about CPR, having taken the class just for Karen’s sake. He didn’t see the EMTs shake their heads, because God owed him so many fucking favors and he better fucking ante up or Kenny was going to war on Heaven himself.

 

Either he was dreaming, or God actually heard him, because in that minute between life and death, a surge of hope shocked through him, he could feel it. It was faint, but it was there. “It’s beating.” He called out to the technicians, “IT’S BEATING!” He shouted it as loud as he could, only releasing her when they returned to finish the job. He really didn’t notice anything else, the hurried moment where he was ushered into the ambulance, the ride where her vitals were growing stronger. He held her hand as much as he could, because she needed to know that he was there. That he managed to screw over death so many times that he knew that for one single minute, she had met the same result, only to come back to him.

 

He needed to stay with her, even after her gurney was wheeled into the emergency room. He did his best to keep himself as close to her as possible, out of the way of those that worked on her, whether it was in the waiting room or the hallway, finally settling himself in the room she was placed inside. She was finally stable, laying unconscious on the bed with bandages around her wrists and a gauze pad where her right eye should be. He kept his hand closed on hers, not really giving a shit about if he was going to be cursed again.

 

Richard was her first visitor, as he was working in the Children’s ward. He looked dreadfully tired, frowning at the sight and moving to check her chart. “Word is that this crazy teenager did the impossible, bringing a girl back to life after her heart stopped.” He said simply, running his eyes over the chart and finally looking over at Kenny. “You found her.”

 

Kenny nodded, lacing his fingers through hers. “Had to.”

 

Richard nodded, sitting against the edge of the bed. “You know, I only had two good theories on beating that curse. One would be the seven virtues.” He looked up at the ceiling then, “The other one was…” He lingered there, not really happy on what he was going to say. “Death would end the curse itself, as it was said to die when the bloodline meets its end.” He looked at Kenny again, pointedly this time.

 

Kenny looked back at him, giving him a smile. “Death ends a lot of things, no matter how short it is.”

 

Richard nodded, “I have a good feeling you know a good deal about that.” He smiled when Kenny stared at him in shock. “Son, no one else seems to remember that your body was found twenty-four hours ago.”

 

Kenny couldn’t think of anything to say to that, looking stunned. Richard chuckled and patted his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m happy my daughter met you.” He said finally.

 

Richard stepped out before Kenny could respond, passing by his other daughter, who was gaping like a fish at the sight of Kenny sitting next to her sister. Elizabeth wondered if she was having a stroke, stepping inside slowly and touching Kenny’s shoulder.

 

“You’re real.” She said softly, eyes wide.

 

Kenny seemed to grin at that, “Surprise.” Three people in one day, the shock alone was going to kill him. “It happens.” He said eventually, winking at her when Kyle appeared at the door.

 

“Hey dude,” Kyle said it to Kenny as if the guy hadn’t been found dead just the other day, his gaze leaving Kenny to see their joined hands. He ignored that briefly to hug Elizabeth, “I told you Ike could find her.” He said in a whisper.

 

Elizabeth pursed her lips together, following Kyle’s glances towards Kenny and Alice’s hands. “Should you be touching her?”

 

Kenny looked down, but refused to separate their hands. “I have a feeling it’s gone.” He said then.

 

Kyle looked at Elizabeth and then at Kenny, “The curse?”

 

“She died.” Kenny explained, “I think it broke the curse.”

 

Elizabeth stared at her sister, her eyes welling up with tears. “She--died?”

 

“Only for a minute.” Richard’s voice was back, in his hands were two cups of coffee. He stepped into the room and handed one of them to Kenny. “That’s what the medics said, she died, and then Kenneth here launched himself at her and brought her back.” He patted Kenny’s shoulder then. “This is one of my theories, one of the good ones.” He looked back at his daughter, who was holding Kyle like she was about to pass out. “That woman who killed your mother, the rage didn’t end her life, it was the grief over what she did. The curse ended when your mother died.”

 

Elizabeth felt light headed, looking at Kyle. The redhead only shook his head and kept her upright, “I’m not killing you.” He said gently.

 

Richard watched them, quirking a brow. “Kyle, son, could you be cursed as well?”

 

Elizabeth glanced down at her feet, “Purely accidental, dad.”

 

He didn’t look too happy, frowning tiredly. “I want you both to go back home. Your sister’s alive and well.”

 

Elizabeth whined, “Dad--”

 

“Kyle is a danger inside this hospital and I won’t have anyone else hurt. I’m not putting anyone else at risk!” He said sternly, pointing at the door. “Exercise your virtues.”

 

Kyle looked back at Alice and Kenny, trying to imagine Elizabeth in the same state and feeling queasy. He nodded at her father’s demand and took Elizabeth’s hand, leading her back out.

 

“I think I might have rage.” He said when they were in the parking lot. Elizabeth looked over at him, the key almost dropping from her hands.

 

“What?”

 

“Rage.” Kyle repeated, “I mean, Butters… he was jealous of Alice and Kenny, so he got Jealousy. I’m pretty much a hothead, so of course I’d get rage.” He was so logical about it.

 

“That’s not--”

 

“You and I both know that the others don’t fit.” He interrupted her.

 

“Lust?” She offered painfully.

 

He rolled his eyes at the suggestion, “I haven’t trying to get into your pants, Liz. Save Lust for Kenny.” He waited a moment before speaking, “Don’t even think of saying Greed, either.”

 

It was Elizabeth’s turn to roll her eyes, “Do I look like Cartman?”

 

He managed to chuckle at that, getting into the car when she finally unlocked it.

* * *

 

The ride home was quiet and tense, because Elizabeth didn’t want to play ‘guess the sin’ with Kyle anymore. His theory was weird, but then so was her father’s theories on how to fix it. Combating sins with virtues sounded like a last ditch effort, and there was no evidence to prove that it would work. She didn’t want to think about how she could be rid of the curse for good, because she didn’t really want to chance death.

 

Eventually Kyle spoke up, “Do you want to go to Homecoming with me?”

 

Elizabeth shoved her foot on the brake, almost colliding with another driver. “Kyle!”

 

“What?” He cried out.

 

Elizabeth heard someone honking their horn and rolled down the window to flip them off. “What do you mean ‘what’? You just asked me such an asinine question during this--”

 

“I’m attempting to be optimistic, Liz.” He griped. “Allow me to ask stupid questions about the future despite this lingering curse over my head.”

 

She made a frustrated grunt and started driving again, “I’m not answering that.” She said loudly.

 

Kyle groaned in frustration, “Liz, Jesus Christ, it’s just a question.”

 

“Asking me to Homecoming is not ‘just a question’.” She argued, “It’s a loaded question that implies so much more--”

 

“Well excuse me for trying to lighten the mood!” Kyle was close to shouting now. “Can you actually believe that I’m doing my best not to freak out? I think I’ve been doing quite good so far.”

 

She shrugged, pulling up to the driveway. “You’re acting out in different ways, Kyle.”

 

He quickly got out of the car, “Don’t play psychiatrist with me, I really don’t want to be analyzed by someone who’s clearly disassociating herself to deal with the situation.”

 

Elizabeth snorted in a sarcastic amusement, “Excuse me? I’m going over this whole situation with a cool head and doing my best to handle your breakdowns. Throwing out these romantic suggestions is a clear sign that you’re--”

 

Kyle groaned, “Says the woman who passed the fuck out in the school parking lot!” He was shouting now, and Elizabeth did her best to quickly unlock the front door. “There is NOTHING wrong with thinking about the future, Liz.” He continued, following her inside the house. “Thinking ahead is the only thing that’s keeping me from a dramatic mental breakdown over what’s happening in the here and now, because if I think about stupid things like Homecoming or dating or anything else harmless, then I’m not going to end up a puddle of anxiety on the damn floor!”

 

“I can’t deal with this, not now.” Elizabeth groaned, making her way down to the basement. She should have known that Kyle would follow her, shutting the door behind him.

 

“I think you should stop trying to psychoanalyze me and think about why you’re refusing to talk about us.” His voice was still loud, giving away his annoyance.

 

“There is no US, Kyle!” She began to yell now, matching his volume. “Pretending that there’s anything between us is just a way to distract yourself from your real problem!”

 

“Could you think that possibly that you’re the one in denial? Why does it always have to be me that’s making shit up?” He countered, “Liz, you refuse to even listen to me. We’re in this whole thing together, if you’re not aware about it. You’re avoiding me with your reasoning like you’ve been avoiding me at school!” He couldn’t pinpoint why he was starting to get so angry about all of this, but it felt natural. He was rightly frustrated, in his opinion.

 

Elizabeth wanted to pull her hair, or hit him, or just leave Kyle and lock the door so he could continue screaming without her there. “Next thing I know you’re going to start asking me to fucking prom, something one fucking year away from now--”

 

“Will you STOP?” He smacked his hand against the wall, “What the ever loving fuck is so wrong with me asking you to a godforsaken dance? Are you that emotionally retarded to even think that we could actually be a good couple?”

 

She didn’t really understand why this was such a hot topic, something he seemed to be obsessing with… Well, shit. Elizabeth stepped away from him then, holding up her hands in a show of surrender. “Kyle, calm down…”

 

“Don’t fucking TELL me to CALM DOWN!” He shouted again, realizing what he just did right then and gasping, his hands flying to his mouth. “Shit--”

 

Elizabeth continued stepping back from him, her eyes darting to an alcove in the basement that was draped over with a tapestry. “Kyle, good, you’re aware of yourself. Keep being aware. This is all Wrath you’re dealing with. You were right, Kyle.”

 

He stepped forward, frowning. “Liz, why are you distancing yourself?”

 

“You very well know why, Kyle.” She said it as calmly as possible, keeping her hands visible. “Wrath is dangerous, and you have to listen to me, okay?” She stopped at the draped area, one hand reaching back and looking for something.

 

“Liz, stop.” He tried again, “I’m not going to hurt you!” He believed himself, but he was so angry about having to say it.

 

Elizabeth shook her head, smiling sadly. “Remember what my father said, Kyle. Practice your virtues--”

 

“I’m NOT GOING TO HURT YOU!” He was horribly frustrated, stepping closer and doing his best not to lash out. He was still aware of how scary he was sounding, grimacing after the fact and shaking his head. “S-sorry, I’m so sorry!”

 

“I know you are, Kyle.” She fumbled with a handle quickly, finally getting what seemed to be a chain-link gate open and quickly ducking behind it, getting it closed quickly just as Kyle ran up to it. Around the gate was a lock, one with a key still inside and she had to be quick about chaining the door to the wall and locking it before Kyle could open the door again.

 

He really didn’t know why he was so mad about her locking herself away, offended that she thought he was a threat. She wasn’t acting right at all, this wasn’t fair to him. He wasn’t at fault! “Liz--”

 

“I’m not getting out, Kyle.” She backed up to the wall, pressing herself against the cool bricks.

 

“LIZ!” He slammed his hand against the gate, reeling back when he realized how badly he was reacting. It seemed to break down what little hold he had, and again he shook his head, feeling disgusted with himself. “Oh god, no. No, no, no.”

 

Elizabeth tried to breath evenly, forcing herself to remain calm. At least he wasn’t completely possessed by it, she had to keep that hope. “Kyle, you’re okay. You need to listen to me, alright? You’re still yourself, and that’s a good thing.”

 

“Liz, I’m scared. I feel like I’m going to explode!” He grabbed the chain link, looking worried. “Liz--”

 

She finally pushed herself from the wall, cautiously stepping towards the gate. “Kyle, that’s good. It’s good to be scared, okay? I’m scared too. You need to get through this. Just remember, you need Patience!” She cautiously touched his hand, because she believed in Kyle.

 

It was a horrible feeling, how the emotions were raging through his body. He was dealing with a quick influx of anger that frightened him to the core, and he did his best to listen to Elizabeth’s calming words. She continued talking to him, her voice grounding him because nothing else could. He eventually slumped against the gate, whining pitifully and doing his best to contain himself. Patience, right? He wasn’t Catholic, he didn’t know at all about these sins or virtues, but then neither was Elizabeth and she apparently studied them inside and out. He eventually laughed, bitterly, because of course a Jewish person would get cursed with Catholic sins.

 

But Elizabeth’s mother wasn’t Jewish, was she? She belonged to a cult at one time, and only converted when she met Richard. Christ, he knew so much about Elizabeth’s past, but here she was refusing to let him further into her own life. He felt angry at that, he knew so much about her but she refused to even give him a chance. Something about this whole picture was wrong, very wrong.

 

No, that was the Wrath talking. No, he couldn’t let it get to him. Her hand was on his. She believed in him, didn’t she? She might have locked herself away but that was to protect herself, and yet she still was close to him. Right. He needed to get past this. Because if he got past this then it proved that he was strong enough to fight through the worst and it would prove to her that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Elizabeth let out a sigh, leaning against the gate and watching Kyle’s face. It was clear that he was trying to fight himself, and she hoped that he was winning. He would grip the gate when a flash of anger passed through his eyes, and she could clearly see the color change. They weren’t red, still a bright green, but often the red would take over only to go back to their original color. She didn’t know how long this was going to take, how long he needed to contain himself, but she hoped to Jehovah that her father’s theory was right.

 

“If it helps any…” Elizabeth broke the silence, speaking just above a whisper. “I’ll think about going with you.” She paused then, looking away from him. “To Homecoming, I mean.”

 

The smallest gesture of faith, it sounded so simple, but it held so much weight behind it. Kyle laughed, a small hysterical laugh that eased away into nothing. He thought he was hearing things, actually, but when he looked at Elizabeth she was forcefully not meeting his eyes. He shook his head and continued the silence, reminding himself to practice patience.

 

It was so quiet, after hours of sitting on the cold concrete floor, both of them not saying anything. Elizabeth finally looked back at Kyle’s eyes, holding them for about two minutes and noting that they never lost their green brilliance. Her breath caught in her throat, the sound interrupting his thoughts as he looked at her.

 

Kyle watched the smile that formed on her face, one that looked reassuring and hopeful. He didn’t want her to let go of his hand, but she had to, standing quietly and fumbling with the key to remove the lock. He pushed himself off of the gate and watched her unwrap the chain, the heavy metal falling to the floor in a heap.

 

“Is it over?” He asked, his eyes wide. “Did I--”

 

Elizabeth managed a laugh, not getting the gate open fast enough before she lunged herself into his arms and giving him a tight hug. He broke into a laugh that matched hers, returning the hug.

 

“You…you fought it.” She breathed, “I didn’t think…I never--Dad was fucking right.” She broke away from him to make her way to the computer, waking it up to check the time. “We’ve been down here for four hours.” She said then.

 

Kyle couldn’t help another laugh that bubbled up from his gut, putting his hands on her shoulders and smiling. “I beat it, I--oh Christ, I felt so fucking strange…” He sighed.

 

Elizabeth smiled again, “I think what worked was that you kept yourself aware.” She looked up at him, “You managed to fight it by not letting it take over.”

 

Kyle felt a sense of pride at the fact that he was strong enough to overthrow it, beaming down at her. “We should get back to Hell’s Pass.” He said then, “Alice might be awake by now.”

 

Elizabeth nodded, getting up and leading them both out of the basement. The sun had set already, and it was black outside. “I hope Stan came up with a good excuse…” She said eventually.

 

Kyle grinned at that, “I need to call him. He’ll fucking flip.” He hurried into the kitchen to do just that, pulling out his phone and seeing the notifications stack on top of each other. Fifteen missed calls from Mom, ten texts from Stan. Oh shit he was in so much trouble… He called Stan first, because after beating something that could have potentially killed him his super best friend was the first he needed to contact.

 

Elizabeth went upstairs to find her own phone, sitting down on the bed and taking it from the nightstand. Three missed calls from Dad, and a couple of unknown numbers that she guessed it was Kenny’s phone and Wendy’s. She set the phone down and sighed, looking at her covered hands for a moment. Alice’s curse was gone, completely, and she could continue to live normally. Kenny saved her life, and apparently he had the ability to die and come back. She had tons of questions piling up in her head with little to no answers for. She hoped that this little catastrophe was over, and vaguely thought about next month, which was October.

 

Fucking Homecoming.


	11. Mixed Blessings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ain't over yet.

Alice woke up smiling, her hand still twined with Kenny’s and watching as the boy slept where he sat. He looked so angelic when he was asleep, which was a stark contrast to the little devil that was awake. She vaguely remembered hearing his voice when she was out, and seeing Jesus, but she never got the chance to try the cookies he made, because Kenny’s voice was calling her back home.

 

She squeezed his hand gently, giggling a little when his eyes finally opened. “Alice?”

 

“Jesus says Hi.” She said with a smirk, making him snort in amusement.

 

“Christ, Al.” He breathed, scratching his head with his free hand. “You scared the shit out of me.”

 

She shrugged helplessly, “I had a feeling you’d arrive in time, too bad I’m one eye short of a full set.” She felt like it was a good time to joke about the obvious, smiling when he did.

 

“You don’t have it anymore.” He said then, holding up her hand. “Pops said so.”

 

She wiggled her fingers between his, grinning. “Dad…how’s he doing?”

 

Kenny got up to sit next to her, on the same bed. “Well, he kinda implied that he owes me big time for saving your life, and is settling on letting me have your first born.” He grinned when she started laughing, “The weird part is, he remembered that I had a brief period where I was in the morgue.” He said then, glancing at the door.

 

Alice watched him, “I thought you said everyone forgets.”

 

“Everyone…accept your family, it seems.” He still didn’t know how he felt about it. Happy, disturbed? He couldn’t really pinpoint the emotion.

 

Alice leaned against his shoulder, “I think it’s called a blessing in disguise.” She said simply, squeezing his hand. “You now have a doctor on your side, and believe me Dad is going to want to see how it can be possible. I could tell him not to pry if you want…”

 

He chuckled, “Let Pops try to figure it out, because I’ve hit so many dead ends…”

 

“I like it when you call him Pops.” She grinned at him, “Makes you sound like family.”

 

Kenny grinned back at her, “I hope you don’t mind taking in strays.”

 

They kissed, and Alice broke into a giggle when she noticed her father watching from the door. “Hey dad.”

 

Kenny didn’t look at all embarrassed, waving at Richard. “Pops!”

 

“I’m on call, so I thought I’d check up on you.” Richard said with a smile, stepping inside. “Liz called me earlier, she said Kyle beat Wrath.”

 

Alice’s eye widened, “Wrath?”

 

Richard nodded, “Two miracles in one day, it seems.” He looked over at Kenny, smirking. “They’re stopping at MacDonalds before coming here, I’m not supposed to tell you.” He winked then.

 

Alice chuckled, “Gosh, it’s going to be a little party down here.” She said amusedly. “I suppose the situation calls for it.”

 

Kenny nodded in agreement, “It’s one of those days where you need to celebrate life with a greasy overcooked burger and some cholesterol laden fries.”

* * *

 

They didn’t expect Stan and Wendy to be with them, and apparently Wendy was over at Stan’s house already when Kyle called his super best friend to tell him the news. They had a fun little adventure in helping the two lovebirds sneak out the bedroom window to Elizabeth’s car for a midnight trip to MiccyDees. Elizabeth was horrified to realize that she hadn’t eaten in three days, given the circumstances. Kyle knew he was going to be grounded for a month or so after everything, but Elizabeth had a plan that involved her father talking to his mother.

 

Richard took his coffee when offered, on his sixth cup ever since he started his shift. It was what he mostly ran on, and why he was so absent minded mostly half the time. He was sharper in the hospital than he was outside of it, making pleasant conversation without trailing off. He had to leave minutes later, his beeper going off and calling him away.

 

Alice and Kenny shared fries, but hoarded their own burgers, because Elizabeth knew what she liked and Kyle knew what he loved. When Wendy brought up the one subject Elizabeth tried all night to avoid, Kyle was smiling from ear to ear when he told Stan about his arrangement.

 

“Oh man, I totally forgot about Homecoming!” Kenny looked over at Alice. “So, we’re going, right?”

 

Alice smirked at him, “I thought being your girlfriend implied shit like that. Do you even have a tux?”

 

He shrugged, “I think my dad has a rental that he never returned, I’m sure it fits.”

 

“We should all chip in for a limo.” Wendy offered, pausing for a moment, “Well, except for Kenny, I mean.”

 

Alice rolled her eye, “This isn’t prom.”

 

“A dance is a dance, Alice.” Wendy insisted, “Bebe isn’t here but I know she’s already in on the idea.”

 

Elizabeth looked uncomfortable talking about this, and Kyle could see it on her face. “Guys, a limo is just too much.” He attempted, but Wendy already looked determined.

 

Stan looked thoughtful, “Isn’t Token’s parents going to be out of town during Homecoming? He was super bummed about it during practice, apparently it’s a conference they couldn’t reschedule.”

 

Kenny caught on to that idea, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “You’re saying, that the mansion on the hill, will be without parental units on a night where a party would definitely be a good idea--”

 

“That’s only if we win the game!” Alice said, “I mean, a party is only good if we--”

 

“Psh, we’re going to win anyway.” Stan said quickly, grinning. “We’ve been practicing a few new plays that we’re going to cream the competition with. The odds are in our favor.”

 

Elizabeth was very quiet while she chewed on her nuggets.

 

Wendy nudged Elizabeth’s shoulder. “You know, you could so be on the Homecoming Court, you and Kyle.”

 

She stilled at the comment and looked at Wendy like she sprouted another head. Kyle laughed uneasily, shaking his head. “We’re not together, Wends.”

 

Wendy looked confused, “You two bicker like you’re married though--”

 

“So we’re having that party at Token’s place, right?” Stan interrupted then, but it was too late. Elizabeth had stood up, mumbling something about needing a cigarette and leaving the room quickly.

 

“Not cool, Wendy.” Kyle said then, looking annoyed while he went out to follow her.

 

Wendy blinked, looking over at Alice confusedly. “What did I say?”

 

“My sister has a problem with guys, remember?” Alice offered, smiling nervously. “It’s clear that Kyle likes her, but…”

 

Wendy nodded in understanding, sighing.

 

Elizabeth had practically ran out to the parking lot, sliding herself into the car and finding the pack of cigs she kept in the glove box. She pulled one out and lit it up, leaving the door open as she sat back and just stared at the ceiling. She ran away, again. It was a normal habit for her now was it?

 

The passenger door opened and she already knew who was sliding into the seat. Kyle offered up a sympathetic smile. “She didn’t mean anything by it.” He offered.

 

“I’m coming to realize my problems.” She said, “Every time there’s a suggestion to it, I tend to close myself off or avoid the situation completely.” Elizabeth glanced over at him, offering the cigarette after taking a drag. He wordlessly accepted it, finding the burning sensation in his throat something that helped instead of hindered.

 

“Technically, you did run out of there.” He agreed, “Is spending a night with me really a problem?”

 

Elizabeth laughed, almost hysterically. “You don’t get it, Kyle. I used to be a lot worse than this. Boys who would try to talk to me, I would lash out at them so badly, I became a horrid bitch so they would stay away. It was my only defense, mostly because of my curse. I thought, if I earned this reputation for being a horrible person, then no one would try to get to know me. I wouldn’t end up ruining their entire lives.” She looked at him, “Then, we up and left, moved to South Park. Alice decided it was her best interest to get me to act differently. I wasn’t so sure, and I was so ready to become the frigid bitch again. Then my sister decides to rage war on this horrible kid next door, and suddenly he’s attacking me because of it.”

 

He quirked a brow, “What does Cartman have to do with it?”

 

She snorted, “I was so busy trying to keep Alice in line that I forgot my own game plan. I fucked myself over on that first day- when you decided to walk over to my table and just have a little chat. Then...you were talking to me. You were warning me about him, when you didn’t even have to. You didn’t have to do a goddamn thing and here you were, giving me a cautionary tale. I forgot myself, because all I could remember was Alice telling me to try and be nice. Just _try_. Instead I felt nervous and anxious and just fucking scared. Inadvertently, by being a bitch to everyone, I’ve also become socially retarded, and it was worse with guys.” She gestured to him in example. “I didn’t really expect for you to attempt it again, for at least three fucking weeks I was fucking paranoid because everywhere I turned, you were there, looking for me.”

 

Elizabeth groaned slightly, “So imagine, my reaction when you’re at my door, worried I might have cut myself, kissing me in the heat of the moment, fucking asking me to Homecoming while we’re at an intersection, I did my best to isolate the situation and just, get away from it, because I just don’t fucking know how to react.”

 

Kyle stared at her, unable to hold back the nervous chuckle. “Christ, Liz. I thought I had problems!”

 

She glared at him then, but he quickly touched her arm. “You know why my mom thought to get our families together that Sunday?” He asked, blushing slightly. “Why she suggested we should date?”

 

Elizabeth turned slightly to watch him, “Why?”

 

He glanced down at his lap, “I think it was because I was talking about you for the entire three weeks. I kept complaining about you, just avoiding me. ‘The new girl, the one who was Jewish, avoiding my bubbeh, oh I must get in touch with her father!’ I’m sure she said just that.” His impression of his mother was spot on. “Ma has that way about her, you know? Trying to help me while doing her best to embarrass me?”

 

Elizabeth was flushed, “Christ--”

 

Kyle nodded, “Yeah… so, I understand now if you don’t want to go with me, given your--”

 

“I’ll go.” She said quickly, not meeting his eyes and staring out the window like the night sky was interesting.

 

He sputtered, “W-what?”

 

“With you, Homecoming…” She mumbled the last word, finally slipping out of the car seat and flicking the dead cigarette away. “Don’t make me repeat myself.” She said then, like the conversation was final.

 

Kyle got out of the car and watched her, she still refused to look at him but it only made him laugh slightly, “Come on, let’s get back to everyone before they assume we’re making out in the car.”

 

Elizabeth laughed awkwardly, rushing past him.

* * *

  


Eric Cartman was at his wits end.

 

The video feeds, they painted this entire story right in front of him, and he was there as he watched the entire story unfold. The night Kyle touched her hand, the bedroom argument, the basement kiss, the dead silence where everyone was gone and back to the basement with Stan and Kyle. Everything was revolving around the fucking Jew boy and _her_.

 

The fact that Kyle survived the fucking curse was amazing, but he hated how Elizabeth hugged him afterwards, like he was something special.

 

He’d been thinking about her too much, lately. Fucking Elizabeth Horowitz. From her annoying face to that horrible smile to that irritating fire that flashed in her eyes when she was angry. He liked it when she was angry the most, and it disturbed the ever loving shit out of him. It became so bad that he started to have dreams, to the point that he was remembering his own mother’s thoughtful words that one afternoon.

 

There was no way in Hell that he was attracted to her.

 

It had to be a curse. It sounded like the most logical solution. While stealing her gloves he probably touched her hand by accident. Did he touch her hand? He couldn’t remember anymore. He thought about those hands to the point of obsession, debating on this horrible infatuation he had.

 

He was cursed, obviously.

 

Lust? It had to be lust.

 

It had to be lust when he re-watched feeds of her playing the violin, jacking off when she would get passionate during her performance. It had to be lust when she was at the forefront of his thoughts, how a dirty Jew could monopolize his thoughts more than anything.

 

He considered Kyle, but it was significantly different. When he thought about Kyle, he was thinking with hatred. He was thinking with every negative bone in his body. When he thought about Elizabeth, he was jealous. He was obsessed with her for reasons he was never obsessed with Kyle. He still heard his mother’s words, taunting him.

 

When he started seeing Elizabeth at school again, he found himself loathing the company she kept. Kyle was at her side now, and she wasn’t distancing herself like she once was. Something ugly twisted in his heart, like jealousy and betrayal. She was meant for him, not for Kyle. The last thing he wanted to fucking see was those two together. The way she was smiling at him, how she was laughing with him, how now and again they looked at each other with this disgusting connection that they had and no one else did.

 

Her hands were covered with new white gloves, whereas her one-eyed sister didn’t wear them any longer, the whore skipping around school holding hands with Kenny and shamelessly announcing to everyone with an ear that she was Kenny’s girlfriend. He wondered what happened then, why she wasn’t cursed anymore but Elizabeth still had to keep her gloves on. He wondered a lot of things, lately.

 

This curse was an ugly one. It was giving him twisted desires and enticing thoughts that he started to regret even wanting. This wasn’t him, this definitely wasn’t him. He would never want her attention, her eyes gazing into his, her passionate hatred.

 

But then, when her attention was on him, her eyes glaring at him, her hatred, her beautiful vexing hatred was directed at him, he felt like he was a King.

* * *

  


Richard managed to get out of the hospital in the morning, because he needed about two hours. He hardly took his breaks outside the hospital, as he worked most of the time. Today was different, however. He stopped by MacDonalds before his next destination, ordering a couple of coffees and an egg mcmuffin. One of the coffees was a frappe.

 

He drove quietly to the police station, easing into the parking lot and leaving the car with what he ordered. He exchanged glances with a couple of cops on their smoke break, pulling on a tired smile when they greeted him. He stopped when he was at the front desk, waiting to get the man’s attention before being buzzed into the main office.

 

“Mr. Horowitz.” A cop greeted him professionally.

 

Richard gestured to the items he had. “His parents haven’t gotten him still, have they?” He asked.

 

The man shook his head, leading Richard to the cells. “Poor kid, they refuse to pay his bail. Says he’s better off behind bars to learn his ‘lesson’.” The cop shook his head.

 

The pediatrician looked disgusted by the news, “Some adults aren’t suitable to be parents.”

 

“Legally we can’t do anything, Mr. Horowitz.”

 

“Richard.” He corrected.

 

“Richard.” The cop repeated, “Until someone pays the bail, we’re forced to keep him. I’m still shocked that you refuse to press charges, given what he did to your daughter…”

 

“Alice is a forgiving girl.” Richard said quietly, “He didn’t mean what he did, it wasn’t his fault.” He continued.

 

“If it was my daughter, I would have shot the bastard.” The cop said, shrugging. “I’m not you, though.”

 

They both stepped up to the one cell that housed a very broken looking boy. Butters didn’t look well, tears streaked down his face and his hair sticking in all different directions. His clothes were what the station had given him, a simple shirt and sweatpants, and around his shoulders was a thermal blanket. At the sight of visitors, he chanced a look, only to pale at the sight of Richard and whimper.

 

“Mr-Mr. Horowitz!” He looked ready to cry again.

 

Richard waited for the cop to unlock the cell, and he stepped inside and moved to sit next to him. “I thought you could use something good.” He said kindly, putting the small paper bag in his lap. “A warm meal, and something sweet.” He set the frappe down between them and sipped from his own black coffee.

 

Butters stared down at the bag, whimpering slightly and shaking his head. “Why--why’re you bein’ so nice to me? I attacked Alice, Mister!”

 

Richard sighed, resting his elbows on his knees. “It wasn’t your fault, Leopold. You have to believe me when I say it, I don’t blame you.” He waited for the cop to leave. “Leopold, you were a victim of something horrible, which made you do what you did.” He said slowly, studying a crack in the floor.

 

Butters shifted uncomfortably, “Well geeze, I still need to be punished for it, Mr. Horowitz. I did a bad thing, an’ my parents said--”

 

Richard straightened up, patting his knee. “Son, your parents don’t know everything.” He said softly, “I’m here to help you, Leopold, and after I get you out of here, you’re welcome to stay at my house for as long as you like.” He smiled slightly. “We have a spare bed, and I’m sure Alice will be happy to see you again.”

 

He didn’t believe what he was hearing, it was hard to process how nice this man was being considering everything he did. He kidnapped his daughter, he almost blinded her! If Kenny didn’t get there in time, who knows what else would have happened! He choked up in broken sobs, crying again.

 

Richard let him cry, patting his shoulder now and doing his best to be something that Leopold’s parents weren’t.


	12. Fucking Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based on my school's Homecoming. About the same size.
> 
> I know nothing about le football.

Homecoming was just as important as Prom at South Park High. Before the big dance, the school had a Spirit Week, all leading up to the football game that was on everyone’s minds, the game between South Park and North Park, the Bulls and the Demons. Everyone was pumped, showing off their school spirit for every single day.

 

Alice managed to dye Kenny’s hair the alternating colors of their school, crimson and gold. She matched his enthusiasm with her own hair, having been bleached and dyed the opposite gold and crimson. The game was an hour away, and all week Stan had been too distracted about all the plays he went over again and again in his head. Alice had wanted Butters to come along, but the boy didn’t feel like celebrating, afraid of running into his parents and getting unwanted attention. He was pretty sure that he wasn’t allowed to even go to the dance, and resigned himself to the fact that he was going to be alone the rest of the night.

 

Elizabeth hadn’t gone to a football game, ever, and upon stepping onto the field she was bombarded with all the fanfare and enthusiasm coming from the entire town. Everyone was there, at least almost everyone. Her father stood with the EMTs, preparing themselves for any sort of emergency. If her arm wasn’t hooked around Kyle’s at the moment, she would have turned around and fled the area, but this was something he had managed to talk her into after a half-hour discussion. Apparently they were requested to be there, according to Wendy. The head cheerleader was already running through cheers with the others, catching sight of the Horowitz twins and waving before dipping down to whisper something in Bebe’s ear while pointing their way.

 

She was planning something, and it made Elizabeth nervous.

 

Alice found it cute, because she was in on the plan in its entirety. She and Kenny had helped Kyle with getting her here, because she wouldn’t have attended otherwise. Wendy’s heart was in the right place, and Alice agreed that they deserved the title. She was the one who personally took the plan and made it work, because all it took was hacking into the school’s database to get the student body’s list of phone numbers. Kenny had helped with the initiation, as he had one of those silver tongues that could talk anyone into anything.

 

If she put her mind to it, she could take control of the city if she wanted.

 

“We’re sitting up front.” She said to her sister before Kenny pulled her towards the stands, “Stay warm!” She teased.

 

Elizabeth looked embarrassed, glancing down at the scarf Kyle gave her, from two days ago during Spirit Week when he suggested they dress up like Ravenclaw prefects. “I want to go home.” She finally announced, but Kyle only shook his head and pulled her towards the team.

 

She kept quiet when Kyle passed by just to give his super best friend a pat on the back, one of their traditions that Stan looked forward to, because superstitions still ran high with football. Stan gave her a reassuring smile before returning to Craig to discuss a play, and they parted from the front lines to the stands, where Elizabeth finally laid her eyes on the rest of the Broflovski family. Her face seemed to go as red as Kyle’s hair, because Sheila had a camera on the two, Elizabeth realizing that her arm was still hooked with Kyle’s. According to Kyle’s face, he realized the same thing, and he put his hand in front of the camera to protect both of them from any embarrassing photos.

 

“Too late, she got some very interesting shots of you two coming in.” Ike grinned.

 

“Why am I here again?” Elizabeth looked at Kyle, desperate to run.

 

“Stan and Wendy want you here, that’s why.” Kyle reasoned. “Don’t make me call Alice back here.”

 

She whined a little, leaning against him when she started to feel somewhat claustrophobic despite being on the edge of the stands in a field. “Can I at least go outside for a smoke--”

 

“Maybe in a bit,” Kyle said it louder than he needed it to, mostly to cover up the fact that she smoked in front of his mother. “We can get a water in a bit, okay?” He smiled nervously.

 

“Oh Gerald honey, look at my bubbeh growing up!” Sheila’s voice boomed from behind them, and Elizabeth felt like dissolving into space.

 

The game began with the Bulls winning the coin flip, and after that was beyond Elizabeth’s knowledge about how the game was played. Apparently the ball was to be carried to the opponent’s side, and a touchdown was involved. She didn’t really pay attention, attempting to cheer when Kyle and everyone else erupted into cries and staying quiet when the opposite happened. As promised, Kyle gave her a short reprieve and allowed her to have a calming smoke break in the parking lot, although under his supervision. When she offered, he declined, because he was still on thin ice with his mother and didn’t need to push the letter.

 

Apparently half time was a big deal, one she couldn’t get out of. The cheerleaders were conspiring with each other, and something was definitely up. Elizabeth wrung her gloved hands together nervously, feeling slightly queasy when the principal got on the microphone.

 

“I’d regale you with the speech I cooked up just for tonight, but I know why you’re all really here.” He began, “Let’s get right down to the nitty gritty folks, I have here, your votes for Homecoming Court.” He took out a paper and unfolded it, waiting for the applause to end. “Your South Park High Duke and Duchess for this year are, Sarah Clinton and Cliff Jenkins!” As he said it, the two sophomores stepped out looking excited, Cliff saluting everyone.

 

“Your South Park High Prince and Princess are…holy cow, Kyle Broflovski and Elizabeth Horowitz!”

 

She realized something was happening, because Kyle wasn’t expecting to hear his name be called, at all, and Elizabeth could barely registered eyes on her. She wondered vaguely if she was having a panic attack, because everything was happening too fast to register it all properly. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and she could feel her sister’s hands on her shoulders, nudging her further out while Kenny shoved Kyle along, the redhead having his own out of body experience. They looked like deer caught in headlights, and Kyle was staring directly at Stan with sudden realization that his super best friend planned this because in reality the Prince and Princess should have been Stan and Wendy and not him and Elizabeth.

 

Neither of them registered who the senior King and Queen were, because there in the front row was Mrs. Broflovski and her goddamned camera flashing every now and then and especially when they were forced to wear the damn crown and tiara. Kyle and Elizabeth were forcing their smiles, glancing at each other.

 

“I told you I wanted to stay home.” Elizabeth muttered.

 

“Don’t ruin it.” He bit down the queasiness of being the center of attention. “I’m sure their hearts were in the right place.” He tried.

 

The sight of Alice’s grin told everything Elizabeth needed to know. “I’m going to kill my sister and Kenny.” She said in confidence.

* * *

  
  


The Homecoming game was in the Bulls’ favor, 30 to 15. Stan was right in his earlier predictions, and South Park was in the mood to celebrate their win. Kyle forgave Stan for putting him in the spotlight, though Elizabeth was still trying to figure out how to kill Kenny in a way to keep him from returning, and somehow dispose of her sister without any notice. Kyle finally parted from Elizabeth to return home so he could change, and Kenny stayed with Alice until Kyle dragged the blonde away from his girlfriend.

 

“How long have you planned this?” Elizabeth questioned once they were in the car.

 

Alice put on her most innocent smile, something she gave Kenny more often than not. “Why Liz, what do you mean?”

 

“Cut the shit.” She hissed out, glaring at Alice.

 

“Ever since the hospital.” Alice answered quickly, “But if you want to blame anyone, blame Wendy.” She finally turned off the road, away from the legion of cars entering the city. “She enlisted me for the task at the hospital, because apparently you and Kyle’s love story is adorable or something.”

 

“We don’t have a love story.” Elizabeth groaned, thumping her head against the rest.

 

“Liz, Wendy’s known Kyle for a fucking long time.” She glanced over at her sister, “He’s not really one of those people that actually ‘dates’ others. Stan says he’s not as bad as you are, but pretty bad. When I told Wendy about how bad you are with guys, she found it romantic that two socially awkward people found each other.”

 

Elizabeth groaned again, folding her arms and staying quiet for the rest of the ride. Kyle didn’t even seem like anything that Alice told her about, far from that. But she remembered what he said the night at the hospital, realizing that he seemed to be in the same boat she was in. It was by far the picturesque Disney movie that Wendy was thinking of, but they got along better even though half the time they were like cats to water.

 

Christ, they  _ did _ have a lot in common.

 

She had that thought in her head long after they returned home to change for the dance. Alice had to wash the color from her hair, applying a different color of hair dye to spray her hair blue, to match her glitzy blue dress. She still didn’t want a dress, but Kenny was persuasive and had talked her into it.

 

Elizabeth stared at the dress her sister got her, loathing it already. Black lace at the top, sleeveless, and blood red velvet. Clipped to the dress were a pair of black elbow-length gloves, feeling like satin. Once she changed into it, she realized that she was actually going to Homecoming with Kyle Broflovski, a boy who apparently liked her for a long time. It was hard to take in, being someone that was liked in a romantic fashion. She felt sorry for the boy, because she considered herself to be a lost cause.

 

Alice grinned at her from the doorway, “I feel sorry for any guy who likes you.” She chuckled, “You’re going to make their lives hell.” She continued, making her way down to the living room, watching Butters sit quietly at the couch curled up in a blanket. She sat next to him, nudging him with her shoulder. “You know you can still come with us.” She said softly.

 

“Gee, Alice, I don’t think so.” He whined, “What would Ken say?”

 

Alice smiled, “Kenny understands what happened, and I don’t care if you were suspended, I want to sneak you into the dance. You still deserve to have fun.”

 

Butters looked at her, studying the satin blue eyepatch she wore that matched her dress, “Did I ever tell you that I lost an eye?” He asked.

 

She turned to face him, looking at his face. “You did?”

 

He nodded, tapping his left eye, and Alice finally could see the pale scars that told a story. “We were bein’ kids, yanno? We were playin’ with illegal weapons an’ all.” He smiled sadly, “Ken was a ninja, with real ninja stars, an’ he threw it directly into my eye.” Butters looked away then, “I have a feelin’ he thinks I did that on purpose, takin’ out your eye.” He shifted uncomfortably, “Cuz I was so mad at him for takin’ ya.”

 

Alice sighed and moved to hug him, patting his head. “That was the curse, Buttercup, it wasn’t you.”

 

He flinched when she hugged him, shying away, “But--the feelin’ was still there, Alice! I ain’t an innocent little angel like you think I am.”

 

Alice frowned, still petting him, “No one’s innocent, Butters.” She said softly, smiling at him. “But no one is inherently evil, either. You may be jealous but you would have never acted like that on your own. The curse makes you do horrible things, but it’s all gone now.” She leaned in to kiss his forehead, catching him off guard.

 

He stilled, remembering, the curse was gone and she no longer had to cover her hands. He had killed her, but she was still forgiving him. He wanted to continue punishing himself, he felt like he needed to, but even her father was trying to help him. He was in therapy now, because of Richard, and slowly coming to terms with what he did. Butters thought Alice would one day come to her senses and blame him for everything, but she never did. She always supported him, would help him bake, have sleepovers with Marjorine and snuggle him when he had nightmares. He still thought he didn’t deserve it, but it didn’t come up as often as it once had.

 

Alice continued to hug him, and he slowly remembered just why he fell in love with her. She was the only girl who managed to placate his nervousness, the only girl who managed to make all three of him happy. She was Marjorine’s best friend, she was Butters’ baking buddy, and she was as quick and chaotic like Chaos himself.

 

“So, I have a feeling that my dad bought a rental tux just for you, a lovely mint green accented one, to match your eyes.” She let go of him then, ruffling his hair.

 

Elizabeth came down just in time to pass her sister dragging their friend upstairs, “Give us ten!” Alice said quickly.

 

Ten minutes to style Butters’ hair, thankfully, as the boy took a long bath during the game. Alice came back down, her blue hair flying as she slid down the banister. All that was left was to wait for their dates, as apparently Kyle’s mother wanted to be present when she dropped her son off for him to pick her up, or something. Richard requested copies of the photos, it seemed, the pair having planned the interception a week ago because he’d be on call on Homecoming. Kenny was with them, wearing a powder blue tuxedo that screamed tacky, but it fit him perfectly in personality and taste, and Alice realized why he wanted her to wear blue. Sheila took photos of the two couples, and Butters and Alice, for at least fifteen minutes, until Kyle started complaining about being late to the dance.

 

* * *

 

Someone had spiked the punch.

 

No one knew who it was that did it, but the punch was smelling like kerosene from all the vodka that was poured into it. Half the students in the Gym were shitfaced, and it said something about school decorum when most of the chaperones were acting like high schoolers and getting into brawls in the mens restroom while the older ones had passed out in the locker rooms. It said a lot about school pride, and how everyone didn’t care because they won the fucking Homecoming game and the attitude was to party all night, fuck hangovers.

 

Elizabeth had spit her drink out on the mere taste of vodka, but poor Kyle was a lightweight and had gotten half-drunk despite her warnings. Stan was to blame for the indulgence, as he was one of the shitfaced who egged his super best friend into lightening up and letting loose. Kenny, apparently, could hold his liquor like a true man, and managed to keep Alice from trying to make a scene. After five cups of tainted punch, she had strong urges to fight people, sucker-punching Craig Tucker in the face when the boy flipped her off.

 

“Common Ken, I can take everyone! Come at me motherfuckers!” Alice shouted, trying to lunge from his arms.

 

“Hey, hey, save that energy for later, Babe!” Kenny tried to steer her outside, “I’ll fight you.” He grinned suggestively.

 

“Christ, she smells flammable!” Elizabeth pinched her nose as she passed them, searching for her date. “Where the fuck did he go?”

 

Alice tried again to escape Kenny, “Hey…heYY Craig! Yeah I see you, fucking asshole!” She yelped when Kenny finally got her outside, “Ken waait, he said I should fight Clyde!”

 

Elizabeth groaned audibly, crossing the dance floor and squeezing in between the gyrating couples to the only two that were slow-dancing in the midst of a fast song. “Stan, where the fuck is Kyle?” She shouted over the music.

 

Wendy giggled, petting Stan’s head while he sang lyrics to a different song, Foreigner’s ‘I want to know what love is’. “I think Kyle escaped through the back door, Liz.” She didn’t sound as drunk as the others, but the giggling was off-putting in Elizabeth’s opinion. Wendy was giggling too much tonight.

 

Stan had made a drunken back door joke but Elizabeth didn’t register it, cramming herself past the dancers to the alternate exits, which served as the designated smoking area for the goth kids.

 

They seemed to be enjoying the fact that most of the student body was pissed, which told her a great deal about who spiked the punch to begin with.

 

She bade them no mind as she passed Henrietta, the plump goth dancing with the red haired one while the taller was sipping on a goblet with the aforementioned punch. In the distance she could hear her sister’s bestie throwing up in a bush, the poor shit mumbling ‘oh hamburgers’ when he realized his shoes didn’t avoid the backlash. She continued to walk until she could spot the telltale red of his hair, offset by that ugly crown he was awarded earlier. She idly felt her own tiara, grabbing for it and yanking it off her head before moving to sit next to him on the cold concrete walkway. Kyle was zoned out, staring at the field they were just inside earlier, a cigarette burning in his fingers that was obviously bummed from the goths.

 

“It’s nice out here.” Elizabeth said, opening her small bag to procure herself one of her own cigarettes and lighting up. “How’s your head?”

 

Kyle glanced at her, flushing slightly and resuming his stare off into the distance. “Better, now that I’m outside. Christ, I still can’t believe we have an after party after this shitshow.” He grinned at that, a little silly.

 

“I have a feeling I’m going to be regretting everything tonight.” She said amusedly, “Alice is trying to pick a fight with the football players.”

 

Kyle laughed at that, “Alice could probably take them, that’s the weird part.” He moved his hand to his face and sighed. “She’s amazing, you know.” He finally looked at her, “So are you. God, I still can’t believe you’re here, with me.”

 

Elizabeth took a drag of her cig, looking away shyly. “I’m coming to terms with that myself…I’m just very confused as to why.”

 

He frowned, “Why what?”

 

“Why me?” Elizabeth rested her head on the brick wall, “Alice said something to me tonight, why Wendy wanted us to be Homecoming royalty. She said you had trouble with girls.”

 

Kyle went red at that, embarrassed at the words. “Well…it’s…complicated.” He started, flicking the nearly burnt out cig away. “I used to date a lot, yanno? As a kid, I’d like a girl and date them, but for some reason every girl I went out with…weird shit happened. Every fucking time, there was something wrong with her, or some outside forces just didn’t agree. I guess I stopped after fifth grade because it was affecting me mentally. I began to wonder if it was just me. Maybe I was the problem. I kinda shied away from dating and romance and used my studies to cope with the loss.” He looked up at the sky then, smiling. “It seemed to affect me worse in high school, until one summer when my friends and I were staying at a timeshare in California.” He grinned at the memory. “I started getting updates on my twitter, about Fatass and the new neighbors that moved in.”

 

Elizabeth perked her head up, watching him.

 

“He posted a picture of you guys moving in, and I remember seeing you, you were screaming at Cartman while he took the picture, and something…I don’t know, the way the lighting was or how your hair looked, I don’t know, I got curious. I tried to look you up on facebook after I spent a whole day trying to make up my mind if I wanted to become that creepy stalker. I told myself it was out of curiosity, really.”

 

“I don’t have a facebook.” Elizabeth said then, looking back at the field.

 

“I know.” Kyle said, “But your sister does.” He trailed his eyes back down, “I friended your sister, and gosh, I suddenly met someone who had the actual balls to do what she did over the summer.” He laughed again, “She would livestream her baking sessions, she loved getting attention. Often times, you’d be there, so I’d watch just in the off-chance I’d get to see you. After a month she messaged me, just out of the blue. We became good friends, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask her about you.” He laughed for a third time, cupping his face with his hands, “Christ, I sound like a stalker.”

 

“Somewhat.” Elizabeth smiled slightly, “Go on.” She shifted to sit near him, it was starting to get cold.

 

“Along the lines of befriending Alice, she started livestreaming your violin practices.” He looked nervous as he explained it, blushing. “You were so beautiful and elegant, and the music was so--I think it was your playing that caught me. You put everything into that violin, Liz. You have so much passion and feeling, and all the emotions in the world still can’t comprehend the music you make.”

 

Elizabeth couldn’t stop watching him, clearly she never heard anyone talk about her music like that.

 

“So…when Cartman began tormenting you, I saw a door.” He eventually admitted, looking back at her. “I thought that warning you could give me a way to become your friend.”

 

“Until those three weeks I began avoiding you.” She chanced a grin then, and he matched it with his own.

 

“We’re both stubborn, you know that?” He mused, reaching over to touch her hand. “Who knew it would take a fucking curse to bring us together.”

 

Elizabeth refused to laugh at that, even though she could see the humor in what he said. She adjusted herself so she could lean against him, flicking her own burnt out cig into the dirt. “You’re such a creepy stalker.”

 

“Ey!” He shoved her lightly, relaxing more now that he finally became honest with her.

 

“I guess I have to go and get one of those restraining orders now.” She continued, grinning when Kyle shoved her again, looking flustered.

 

“I’m shocked you never got one on Cartman.” Kyle mused, thinking. As far as he remembered, he never actually saw the fat bastard at the dance, and he looked quite unnerved at the game - from the two seconds he saw the asshole.

 

“I had better things to worry about.” Elizabeth said honestly, opening her purse to take out her phone. It was letting out a small jingle, but given how almost everyone was at the dance, she was curious as to who would message her.

 

Kyle glanced at her phone before it fell from her hands. “Liz?” He reached over to get the phone when she stood up, looking at the now-cracked screen and looking at a photo of her violin.

 

“I have to go.” She sounded shakey, her voice cracking as she reached for her phone and stared at the screen again. Under the picture was a new body of text and she read it, an ugly feeling twisting inside of her gut before she started walking.

 

Kyle followed her, reaching out and grabbing her shoulder. “Liz? What’s going on?”

 

She turned to him, looking pale and stricken. “He has my violin.” She shook the phone in her grasp. “I need to leave.”

 

Kyle reached for the phone again to take another look, seeing the violin’s picture and the small text that came next.

 

_ If you want your precious violin, you will come back alone, and pay your dear neighbor a visit. :) _

 

Kyle glared at the screen, looking back up at her. “You’re not going, Liz.” He decided finally.

 

Elizabeth glared at him, “No, Kyle.” She tried to leave again but he kept a good grip on her.

 

“This is just one of Cartman’s stupid pranks, Liz! Common, it’s just a violin--”

 

She smacked his hand away from her, fire lighting her eyes. “That’s my mother’s violin!” She shouted, starting up again. “I’m not staying here, I’m not ignoring this, and I’m leaving -alone-.”

 

Kyle tried to follow her, but Elizabeth was too fast, having buried herself amongst the throngs of students dancing in the middle of the gym. “Liz!” His voice was quiet against the pumping music.

 

Elizabeth kept up her speed up until she got to her own car, fumbling for the keys and almost dropping them while she unlocked the doors. She didn’t expect a shoe to fall from the front seat, and Elizabeth scowled when she realized her sister was in the back trying to get lucky with her boyfriend. “ALICE!” She screamed.

 

Kenny almost fell off the seat, cursing under his breath while he tried to shift into a better position. “Oh, hey sis!” He grinned at her, trying not to look like he was fumbling to get his tuxedo off.

 

“Liz!” Alice was still drunk, her arms around Kenny. Elizabeth didn’t really have time to yell at both of them, opening the back door and giving out an angry growl.

 

“Out of my  _ fucking _ car.” She said it warningly, a tone of voice that Kenny clearly understood and he quickly got himself and Alice out, collecting her shoes before Elizabeth could slam the door.

 

“But--” Alice pouted when Elizabeth slammed on the gas, peeling out of the parking lot. “Where do we go now?” She whined.

 

Kenny chuckled and laid a kiss on her cheek. “Fate is telling us to get a room at the Village Inn.”

 

“Liz!” Kyle’s voice tore him away from his date, looking back to see Kyle looking panicked. Kenny watched Kyle for a moment, looking back at the road where the car took off and feeling something plummet at the pit of his stomach.


	13. Black Romance

The cops were probably having their own celebration, Elizabeth surmised, as no one was daring to pull her over while she was doing eighty down the main road. She only slowed herself down once she turned onto her street, pulling into the front yard of the Cartman house and turning her car off. She took a single shaky breath, stepping out and mentally steeling herself for whatever battle she was to have. When she took a step forward, she began to hear a dark tune from her own violin, her eyes flickering up to the window and seeing it open. She recognized the music clearly, from when she was discovering new composers and crossed a brilliant Australian by the name of Peter Gundry. This was Forever You Said, a piece she once practiced with, but it wasn’t her playing.

 

Elizabeth’s eyes narrowed, stepping towards the door and stopping right before it. The door was already open, waiting for her to pass through it. She almost slammed it open further, stepping inside and immediately noticing the oddity of the house that she was suddenly standing in. The lights were off, save for various candles illuminating the entire first floor. Rose petals were scattered in a trail from the doorway leading up the stairs. Her eye twitched, taking a quick glance outside and forcing herself to follow the trail. There was no sign of Liane anywhere, only her and  _ him _ . She didn’t expect herself to be stepping into something that looked like a surreal nightmare, and she continued to keep quiet the further up she stepped. The rose petals didn’t stop there, taking a turn towards a room that the music was coming from. She stilled suddenly, turning back to the door in the realization that she had forgotten her purse, which held one of her many self-defense tools. She wanted to stop and turn back, but she knew that she was being watched.

 

She cautiously pushed open the bedroom door, the anxiety inside of her gut twisting as she stepped into the room. The petals led towards the bed, where it was surrounded by even more candles, and Elizabeth did her best to hold back the twinge of disgust that wanted to heave its way out of her body.

 

“Stop touching that.” She said harshly, glaring at the boy who was still playing her mother’s violin. “Quit sullying it with your hands!”

 

Her voice seemed to cut through the music, and Eric stopped, almost disappointed in the reaction. “You didn’t know I could play, did you?”

 

“I don’t care.” Elizabeth bit out, “I did what you said, now give it back.” She stepped forward, fingers twitching.

 

“How else was I going to get you here, Liz?” He asked calmly, he was too calm about this, and it further angered her. She wanted to lunge at him, punch him and knee him where it hurts, take her violin and leave. She knew better, however. If she lashed out, this wouldn’t be over. He wouldn’t stop going after her. She had the bitter feeling that this was going to end here, tonight.

 

“What do you want?” She finally asked, “If you wanted my attention, you’ve finally gotten it. Now’s the chance, asshole, speak your peace.”

 

He chuckled at that, “So it takes stealing your precious item to get your attention? No, that’s not true, your attention was already taken by the dirty Jew. I needed to up my game.”

 

Her eyes flashed, “I’m Jewish, you moron.”

 

Eric shrugged then, “Well, I can overlook that one flaw you have.” He set the violin down and grinned at her. “I should be congratulating you, actually. You’ve managed to lure me into your trap quite effectively.”

 

She took a step back then, quirking a brow. “Trap?”

 

He nodded, stepping forward. “Your curse. You thought you could get away without me noticing? No, no, Liz, I’m too smart for that.”

 

She stilled completely, glancing down at her hands and looking back at him, searching his face, his eyes, for any telltale sign. When she couldn’t find anything she looked conflicted. “You--you’re cursed?”

 

“I was mad at first.” He admitted, passing her, looking her over like she was an artistic piece. “Oh, I wanted to get back at you for it, but the longer it was there, the more I started to actually re-consider everything. Of course, I’m not as disgusted as I once was.” He shut the door slowly. “In fact, I’m going to embrace this.”

 

Breathe. Steady. She stepped towards where he once was, turning to face him again because she didn’t want her back to him. “W-what are you cursed with?” She questioned, still unable to figure out if he was being delusional or not.

 

He laughed, stepping forward again. “You know perfectly well what you cursed me with, Liz. Isn’t it obvious?”

 

“N…no, not exactly.” She stopped when she couldn’t back away any further, standing just beside the open window.

 

“Lust, Liz.” He answered her simply, “As you can see, I’m not going to let it ruin me.”

 

Christ. Elizabeth felt like she needed that pepper spray in her purse now, and before she could sidestep him he took a hold of her arm. The overwhelming feeling of disgust was crossing her features but he didn’t seem to care all that much, raising her hand up to kiss her palm softly, like one would do for a lover.

 

“I’m not so bad, once you get to know me.” He said it softly.

 

She kneed him in the balls.

 

“MOTHERFUCKER!” He shouted, doubling over. Elizabeth reached for her violin and quickly stepped around him, racing to the door.

 

She was on the steps as soon as he was back on his feet, snarling out and charging after her. “Come back here, you fucking bitch!”

 

“You’re not cursed, you psychopathic asshole!” She cried out, stopping suddenly when she stepped on something, hearing a cat hiss as she stepped on its tail. She stumbled, trying to dodge the feline and caught herself on the nearest wall. “Fuck!” She cursed.

 

His arm suddenly hooked around her waist, and she cried out again, “You’re not fucking leaving this house!” He hissed out, and Elizabeth went still once she felt something sharp and cold touch her throat, her breath hitching as the violin fell from her grip.

 

Eric led her the rest of the way down, forcing her into the living room. “I’m fucking offering you a good deal and you knee me in the fucking nuts?” He shouted, “Christ!”

 

“You’re not cursed, do I need to draw it for you?” Elizabeth repeated herself.

 

Eric’s hand twitched, “Yes I fucking am, I have to be! I would never be thinking all of this shit about you!” He gripped her tighter, and Elizabeth had to remind herself that there was a knife to her throat.

 

“Could it be you’re just obsessed with me? You’re projecting your obsession onto my affliction, which gives you some sort of convoluted logic instead of admitting that it’s your own damn fault!”

 

“God, shut up!” He shouted.

 

Elizabeth finally felt the cold blade remove itself from her throat, but froze up when she felt something else on the back of her neck. Her eyes shut in disgust as he fucking licked her neck, but the sensation was short lived when she started to hear a blaring siren cut through the silence. Something, someone, was here.

 

“She’s in here!” It was Kyle, and Elizabeth couldn’t hold back the whimper before Eric started dragging her back.

 

“KYLE!” She cried out, briefly forgetting the knife, attempting oh so hard to get out of Eric’s grasp.

 

“Goddamnit, no!”

 

Elizabeth’s scream was cut short, as something pierced through her skin and slid its way into her body. Her eyes widened and she clutched at the pain in her gut, her legs collapsing as her vision swam.

 

“ELIZABETH!”

* * *

  
  


She was almost blinded from the lights overhead, covering her eyes and easing them open to see the blurred world around her. Something tugged on her arm, and she looked down to see that it was bare, it was bare and someone was holding on for dear life.

 

“She’s awake.” Alice’s voice sounded exhausted, but happy.

 

“Oh thank Moses!” Was that Mrs. Broflovski?

 

Elizabeth’s eyes tried to focus in on the people around her, until someone handed the girl her glasses. She blinked, adjusting and realizing where she was. In the hospital. Kyle was at her side, holding her hand and looking relieved, and Alice was sitting with Ike and Sheila. Kenny was at the doorway, looking tired.

 

“What…?” She questioned.

 

“You died.” Kyle said it so softly. She stared at him and he lifted her hand, “You died just for a minute, and…”

 

“Kenneth was the only one who had your blood type, dear.” Sheila spoke up, “He saved your life!”

 

Elizabeth turned her attention to Kenny, who smiled at her. “Type O-negative, apparently.” He said, “Pops is out getting some food, by the way.”

 

Alice got up and sat next to her sister, “Cartman stabbed you in the stomach, Liz.” She whispered it.

 

Elizabeth looked pale at that, frowning. “Wh--”

 

“Dad’s pressing charges.” Her sister added, looking grim. “The asshole tried to explain it was the curse but it’s obvious he was lying.”

 

“I hope he rots.” Kyle said sternly, sighing eventually. He looked just as tired as Kenny.

 

“So…why is your mother…?” Elizabeth glanced at Sheila and Ike, frowning.

 

Kyle tried to smile, “Your father wanted to explain everything.” He said calmly, “It kinda puts everything into perspective after a couple of kids steal a car and drive as fast as possible and get stopped by the cops before your sister tazes one of them so we could escape.”

 

Alice grinned at that, “I’m out on bail!”

 

Kenny laughed then, “A girl after my own heart.”

 

Elizabeth was laughing, she didn’t realize it until it happened, but she was genuinely laughing. It hurt, but she didn’t care.

 

“Easy young lady!” Mrs. Broflovski was at her side in an instant, “I will not have you pulling any stitches tonight! And yes, given what I was told…I now understand why my children were forced to break the law.” She gave Ike a sideways glance, and Alice gave the boy a thumbs-up.

 

“Hacking someone’s phone to know where a girl is kidnapped isn’t so much breaking the law when we helped out the cops.” Ike said with a shrug.

 

“Shush young man.” Sheila said as she doted on Elizabeth. “Honestly, I can’t believe what Richard had to deal with, oh and your poor mother!” She pursed her lips. “Well I hope you’ve all learned a lesson.”

 

Elizabeth quirked a brow, “A lesson?” She looked to Kyle for help, but Kyle rolled his eyes.

 

“Ma, there’s no curse anymore, and we didn’t do anything wrong--without reason.”

 

“Well Kyle, it’s clearly something you need to learn!” She defended herself, “If you would have asked poor Liz out when I told you to, then nothing would have happened in the first place!”

 

Kyle went red, “Ma!”

 

Alice snorted in amusement, “I’m sure it would have happened anyway.”

 

“Shush your mouth young lady!” She admonished.

 

Kenny chuckled, stepping out before Alice tried to get into a fight with Sheila Broflovski, saluting Richard as the tired man came walking down the hall carrying bags from MacDonalds.

 

He quietly made his way outside, taking a breath of the cold air as he looked up at the sky. Tomorrow, things would go back to normal. Tomorrow, he would have a girlfriend and a possible sister-in-law while school would continue to go on like the curses never existed.

 

He didn’t notice the ambulance running at him at seventy miles per hour.

 

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a sequel in the making, one that brings back the Freedom Pals. It's got this theme to it, like shit goes wacky and people get weird. I love it so far.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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